New York Times 18:41
New York Sun 17:46
USA Today 14:57
Los Angeles Times 13:08
I spent quite a few hours a couple of weeks ago stargazing in Google Sky. Actually I was more galaxygazing than stargazing. Anywho, if you don't know how to waste your time yet, try it.
Just thought I'd post a few of the more interesting things I found in deep space.
While all of the largest, nearest and brightest objects in the sky are catalogued and numbered, there are thousands and thousands (possibly millions) of distant galaxies and nebulas that one can view that are not identitified.
For instance, here is an edge-on view of a very distant galaxy that lies between the constellations Bootes and Canes Venatici.
(Pardon the size. For some reason these aren't showing up as thumbnails.)
Here is a blue nebula and yellow star that I call High & Tight because it reminds me of a baseball player looking at an incoming fastball. This is in the constellation Lynx.
Here's one of the first images I saved. I didn't come up a name for it, other simply Sky. (I'm not sure where this is, but I included the coordinates in the screenshot.)
I call this one the Smoke Ring Nebula. An unimaginative choice, perhaps but, hey, that's what it looks like. It lies between the constellations Lynx and Ursa Major.
And finally, for now, here is one of the sharpest and prettiest of the distant unnumbered galaxies that can be seen in Google Sky. This is located on the edge of Virgo, right near the catalogued galaxy NGC 4411.
I've got more if anyone's interested. :)
Seeing the Unseen, Part 2, is up. You know what to do.
Finished all 25 levels in about four hours.
UPDATE: Here is my best score thus far:
Tip o'the tam to Ace's readers
Here are the answers thus far:
Join the "fun", if you dare. :)
Gawd, I love YouTube. (Hope google doesn't @#$% it up.)
Back in the days before KISS took the world by storm they were a band making their way through the New York music scene. Here is their 1974 appearance on the Mike Douglas Show.
Mike Douglas was pretty cool. He looked like an old fogie, but that was his "in" for presenting new and upcoming crap. He played football with Alice Cooper. He had John and Yoko on as co-hosts for a week. He hammed it up at the Universal Studios tour lot.
And he presented KISS to a national audience.
I love the way Gene nudges Paul at the very beginning as if to say "This is it, remember to kick ass". And Gene looks at Paul early on to make sure he's fine in their first TV appearance but Paul needed no such encouragement. He knew how to sing to a room (and a camera) and the performance is first-rate. Ace, with bad lighting, really shines here.
Great sound, too. You can hear how Paul's and Ace's guitars play off of each other to get the desired effect. These were not sloppy 20-something musicians. They were going somewhere else and they knew it.
Attitude. That's what's most obvious here. They knew they were destined for bigger shows than the Mike Douglas Show. But they also knew that the Mike Douglas Show was their way to get to those bigger shows, and so they kicked ass for Mike Douglas' polite crowd. (Did they know what they were looking at?)
Crisp. Clean. Fresh.
This is KISS as we might have seen them in their early shows.
Unfortunately, this excellent song never survived their rise to stardom. Perhaps it was deemed too slow and plodding for a high-energy stadium crowd. But here you can listen to the real talent that made up that silly quartet of kubuki-styled New Yawkers who dared to become the band that they always wanted to see.
Lyric in the extended entry...
She'll adore you and she'll floor you with her wisdom and her vision.
And you'll love it and think of it 'til you lose all intuition.
She can move you and improve you with her love and her devotion.
And she'll thrill you and she'll chill you,
but you're headed for commotion.
And you'll need her,
so you'll feed her with your endless dedication.
And the quicker you get sicker she deludes your medication.
Get the firehouse!
'Cuz she sets my soul on fire.
Get the firehouse!
And the flames keep getting higher!
She's like bad weather, but it seems so good.
You'll never leave her, but you know you should!
Isn't falsely reporting a crime a crime?
Anyway, John Karr will not be charged in the murder of Jon Bonet Ramsey, but the media circus is still in town. The more things change...
So, there's a caption contest over at Free Republic. Here's the photo and my humble entry:
"If Kitty Dukakis were raped, what kind of tree would you be?! Can you hear me?! John?! Can you hear me?!!!"
Tip o'the tam to Michelle Malkin.
UPDATE: Drat. I registered at Free Republic just to leave that caption (comment #123) and this happens:
Comment #123 Removed by Moderator
My posting priviledge has been revoked for, I presume, using the word "raped". I wonder if the moderator is too young to get the references.
Some people have no sense of humor. Am I wrong?
Was I wrong?
UPDATE 2: From Freeps user terms:
Opinions expressed on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Free Republic or its operators.
Please enjoy our forum, but also please remember to use common courtesy when posting and refrain from posting personal attacks, profanity, vulgarity, threats, racial or religious bigotry, or any other materials offensive or otherwise inappropriate for a conservative family audience.
Howdy, Webmaster(s). Apparantly I have been banned after making my first ever Comment on "Free Republic". I'll bet I'm tied for the record! The thread was titled (as I recall): Caption Rita Cosby. To see my submitted caption (since freep has deleted it) please view here: http://blatherreview.mu.nu/archives/cat_cool_sites.html#194546 Why was my "posting priviledge revoked"? Was it because I used the word "raped"? Does the "moderator" know the references to which my caption refers? I saw the picture and almost immediately thought that the most assinine, fauning question was in order. I thought of Barbara Walters' question to Katherine Hepburn about what kind of tree would she be -- were she but a tree. But I didn't want to echo a single assininity, so I thought of the second most rediculous question ever asked: Bernie Shaw asking Governor Michael Dukakis about Kitty's hypothetical rape. Let's be honest. The murder of Jon Bonet Ramsey -- according to John Mark Karr -- was a rape. Perhaps that word ought not to be spoken in delicate company and, surely, the alleged event ought never be made light of. But, shit. Is Free Republic what we'd call "delicate company"? Are we so timid and confused that there's no longer a difference between a word and it's context? John and Yoko Lennon once made a short film. They followed an unsuspecting "starlet" around for weeks and weeks. She had no idea that she was being filmed by John & Yoko. She was, rightfully imo, livid at that harrassment. John & Yoko titled the film "Rape". Now, we don't want to use that term lightly or frivolously, but neither do we want to turn it into "the 'r' word". Why? Because when we ban a word we ban a thought. When we ban words we ban discussion. When we ban certain words we stifle the language itself, and how can a free People discuss ideas when certain words -- read: sounds and their meanings -- are banned from the discussion. Sometimes vulgar words are used to express vulgar thoughts, yes, of course. But, also, sometimes those same words are used to express humor, satire, instruction, whimsy, nonsense, virtue, stupidity and all other manner of communication. Will my comment and myself remain banned because I typed the word "raped"? If so then I weep for the future of our free Repubic. I don't ask that my comment be restored. (I'll glady re-write my entry as something less "offensive".) I only ask that my posting priviledge be restored. Whatever. Here are my sites: http://consent.mu.nu (Consent of the Governed) http://blatherreview.mu.nu (BlatherReview) Judge me on my bloggy history, not on a silly caption contest, m'kay? That's all I ask. Freepily yers, Tuning SporkWhatever.
This is for the game players. (It's the only way I know how to get a photo on the web so nyaaaaaaahhhh.)
What I have so far:
Photo found by Kellter:
Project Blue Book staff
WOO HOO!! We're on a roll, guys....!
BET YA CAN'T SPOT THE CRAZY ONE!
Tip o'the tam to Liza's comment at Emily's post.
So, you know how you play a part of some song backwards and it kinda sorta sounds like something else? Y'know, like when you play the gibberish at the end of the Beatles "I'm So Tired" it sounds like John might be saying "Paul is a dead man. Miss him, miss him, miss him...".
Well, here's a site that has a few of those silly moments. Some of these I knew about, but most of them are new to me.
Perhaps the creepiest one for me is when you play Yoko Ono's spoken intro to "Kiss Kiss Kiss" backwards. She is actually saying "anata, daiteyo", which is Japanese for "darling, hug me". But when you play it backwards it sounds alot like "I shot John Lennon". Heh.
So, of course, I uploaded this photo:
Here are the 10 faces they came up with:
1. Carrie-Ann Moss
Ooookay. This one came up first; a 73% match. Thankfully, she is the only female that showed up in the top 10 (although Brad Pitt's pretty effeminate-looking in photo #3). Good Moss quote: "After The Matrix, I cannot wear sunglasses. As soon as I put them on, people recognise me."
2. Tony Blair
Also a 73% match. Keeping in mind that they are matching one photo and not my actual face, this one struck me as a pretty good match. I don't think anyone would ever confuse me with Blair in person, though. Ideally, several different photos should be sent through and see if you get any of the same matches.
3. Brad Pitt
Now this one is just rediculous. Seeing a photo of Brad Pitt always reminds me of the Onion headline that went something like: This Day in History: Tiger Beat publishes it's first issue, the first in a long line of magazines designed for adolescent girls who want to look at photos of boys who look like adolescent girls."
4. Peter O'Toole
O'Toole is the only person on the list who anyone's ever told me that I resemble. And that was way back in college.
5. Ben Stiller
Not too bad of a match, I guess. I can't think of one specific feature that Stiller and I have in common, but the overall effect is kinda "familiar".
6. David Duchovny
Again, just going by the one photo I used, I can see how this one came up. But, believe me, Duchovny and I look nothing alike.
7. Art Garfunkel
See above. Being associated with Art in any way is an honor, though.
8. Gustav Ludwig Hertz
I can see how the shadows are affecting the selections. Nice to have a physicist on the list for a change.
9. Philip Roth
Interesting. I see no resemblence. I still haven't gotten around to reading The Plot Against America, an alternate history story where the Hitler-appeasing Charles Lindberg defeats FDR for the Presidency in 1940. The closest I've ever come to reading his work was watching the movie version of Goodbye, Columbus. Hated it. But, then, I was prolly 13 at the time.
10. Hrithik Roshan
Never heard of him. Apparantly he's famous in India or something.
Crikey, but this stole I dunno how many hours of my life. Fascinating read.
I threw this one together just to show my 13-year-old nephew how to do it. He got a good chuckle out of it.
UPDATE: Disco Guy Again.
Now here's something different. Everybody's doing it and I wanna be different, too. So check out my short movie scene here.
UPDATE: This one's much sillier. You gotta watch it more than once, though. It gets funnier with each play. :)
The lovely and tireless Michelle Malkin has just unveiled a new project. It's called HotAir.com and is a conservative internet video site. With the success of YouTube.com and a host of liberal video sites, Michelle thought it was time, "in part[,] to bring more balance to the videoblogging world. But also because it's the next logical step in the information revolution."
There's much more to Hot Air than the daily newscast, though. We have affiliates from Paris to Washington, D.C., to Wisconsin offering original video, photography, audio, photoshop parodies, and investigative reporting, and we're recruiting more. We are spotlighting the best content across the Internet in our "Top Picks" section. Our group blog is run 24/7/365.
The debut video of Vent with Michelle Malkin is up, and it called Kowtowing to China.
The thing is that I'm on dial-up and have an older version of Flashplayer. (The video is in Version 8 format.) For one or both of those reasons my download was very slow and choppy. I could only watch a few seconds of video before it stopped to download enough to play a few more seconds. The gaps of silence usually lasted about 20 to 90 seconds.
When the play paused, the sound would end and the video would freeze. While, when you watch the video straight through, Michelle is always her lovely self, when the video freezes it often freezes when she's seemingly making a goofy face. But that's just the fact that, out of context, a random frozen image of an active face can look almost unnatural at times and often...well...kinda creepy. "...comes with the meat..."
But, as luck would have it, at one point Michelle was completing the word "Yahoo" just as she blinked her eyes. In the streaming video (which I could watch after the initial long slow download) the blink was so short that I wouldn't have noticed it had the video not frozen at that precise millisecond. The result, though, was that I was staring, for about 30 seconds, at Michelle Malkin's kissyface. Lips puckered. Eyes closed.
I quickly checked to see if I could do a Save Image As command, but nope. Then I hurriedly made a screen shot. But, for some reason, the screen shot didn't take.
So, after I downloaded the video and could play it back at normal pace, I played it right up to that moment and pressed "Pause". Heh. I nailed it on the first try.
And, so, for all you red-blooded, freedom lovin' fellas out there: I present Michelle "Kissyface" Malkin:
We like that.
I've got way too much time on my hands.
This is kewl. Too bad they're sold out.
On a sad note: My first blogcrush, Jennifer's History & Stuff, will not be resuscitated.
On a lighter note: Well, I'll be damned. It's true!
Here's a fun game for those nights when you can only wish you were out having a great time.
The record right now is 82 meters. My personal best was
70 76 meters but I am determined to set the record, dagnabbit.
Tip o'the tam to Annika.
Ugh. Got home late. No time to eat real meal. Must go to sleep and get up early to finish job from hell. Four day weekend coming up fer me. :)
Seeing as my new glasses aren't ready yet, I've just been squinting at a few blogs. Alls I gotta say that if you're interested in the legality of the NSA surveilence kerfuffle, Powerline is all over it like egg on Jonathan Alter, who, by the way, still sucks at his job.
Had too much fun at Jessica's surprise party yesterday. I didn't get out of bed until after 3:00pm today. Oy. Recovery. Why am I so frickin' c-c-cold all the time lately?
Anyway, in lieu of a proper post I'll just pass on that Hold The Mayo's Stephen Macklin's 2nd Podcast is up. Give it a listen!
Tip o'the tam to Attila Girl.
UPDATE: Well, it's new to me, anyway. Seems she started back on September 28th. Whatever.
This goes English to French to English. (I realized only afterward that I'd left out the word "men" in second verse.)
It's story of a lovely lady
who was bringing up three very lovely girls.
All of them had hair of gold like their mother;
the youngest one in curls.
It's the story of a man named Brady
who was bringing up three boys of his own.
They were four living all together.
Yet they were all alone
'til the one day when the lady met this fellow
and they knew that it was much more than a hunch
that this group must somehow form a family.
That's the way they all became the Brady bunch.
C'est histoire d'une belle dame
qui amenait trois filles très belles.
Tous ont eu des cheveux d'or juste comme leur mère ;
le plus jeune dans les courbures.
C'est l'histoire d'un homme appelé Brady
qui amenait trois garçons de ses propres.
Ils avaient quatre ans vivant tous ensemble.
Pourtant ils étaient tout seuls
'jusqu'à l'un jour où la dame a rencontré ce camarade
et ils ont su qu'il était beaucoup plus qu'une sensation
que ce groupe doit de façon ou d'autre former une famille.
C'est la manière ils que tout est devenus le groupe de Brady.
It is history of a beautiful injury
which brought three very beautiful girls.
All had golden hair like their mother;
young person in the curves.
It is the history of a man called Brady
which brought three boys of its clean.
They were four years old living all together.
However they were all alone
' until one day when the injury met this comrade
and they knew that it was much more than one feeling
that this group must in way or other to train a family.
It is the manner they which all became the group of Brady.
Babel Fish? Oh, yeah. Babel Fish.
(Tip o'the tam to Ted and the 66th Carnival of the Recipes.)
We hold these truth to be self-evident: That all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness; that in order to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.
Nous tenons ces la vérité à être art de l'auto-portrait-evident : Que tous les hommes sont égale créée ; qu'ils sont dotés par leur créateur avec certaines droites inaliénables ; ce parmi ces derniers sont la vie, liberté et la poursuite du bonheur ; qu'afin de fixer ces droites, des gouvernements sont institués parmi les hommes dérivant leurs puissances justes du consentement du régi.
We hold the these truth to be art of the obvious one: That all the men equal are created; that they are equipped by their creator with certain inalienable right-hand sides; it among the latter is the life, freedom and the continuation of happiness; that in order to fix these lines, of the governments are instituted among the men deriving their right powers from the assent of governed.
I was born in the wagon of a travelling show. My mama used to dance for the money they'd throw. Papa would do whatever he could. Preach a little gospel; sell a couple bottles of Doctor Good.
Ich war im Lastwagen eines reisenden Erscheinens geboren. Meine Mutter pflegte, für das Geld zu tanzen, das sie werfen würden. Papa würde tun, was auch immer er könnte. Predigen Sie ein kleines Evangelium; verkaufen Sie Flaschen eines Paares des Doktors Good.
I was born in the truck of a traveler of appearance. My nut/mother tended to dance for the money which they would throw. Dad would do, whatever he could do. Preach a small gospel; sell to bottles of a pair of the doctor Good.
Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away.
Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly I'm not half the man I used to be.
There's a shadow hanging over me.
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.
Why she had to go:
I don't know, she wouldn't say.
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.
Yesterday love was such an easy game to play.
Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Yesterday all the problems to me appearred so much makrya'.
Now I need a place that it hides far.
OH, I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly I am not the half individual that was.
There a shade where custard beyond with.
The OH, came yesterday suddenly.
Because it should it goes:
I do not know, it would not say.
I now said something erroneous, I long-lasting for yesterday.
Yesterday the love was a such easy game that plays.
Now I need a place that it hides far.
OH, I believe in yesterday.
Born down in a dead man's town. The first kick I took was when I hit the ground like a dog that's been beat too much 'til you spend half your life just covering up. Born in the USA. I was born in the USA.
Carregado para baixo na cidade de um homem inoperante. O primeiro pontapé que eu fiz exame era quando eu bato a terra como um cão que estivesse sido batida demasiado ' até que você gasta do seu a metade covering justo da vida acima. Carregado nos EUA. Eu fui carregado nos EUA.
Loaded for low in the city of an inoperative man. The first kick that I made examination was when I beat to the land as a dog that was been beaten too much ' until you spend of its the half just covering of the life above. Loaded in U.S.A.. I was loaded in U.S.A..
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon. Need I say more?
Usted sabe que el mundo va loco cuando el mejor rapper es un individuo blanco, el mejor golfista es un individuo negro, el individuo más alto del NBA es chino, la taza suizo asimiento de la América, Francia está acusando los ESTADOS UNIDOS de arrogancia, Alemania no desea ir a guerrear, y nombran a los tres hombres más de gran alcance de América Bush, Dick, y los dos puntos. ¿Opinión de la necesidad I más?
Vous savez que le monde va fou quand le meilleur rapper sera un individu blanc, le mieux golfista est un individu noir, l'individu plus haut que le NBA il est chinois, elle il effiloche par asimiento suisse de l'Amérique, la France accuse les ETATS-UNIS d'arrogance, l'Allemagne ne souhaite pas aller combattre, et nomment aux trois hommes une plus grande portée de l'Amérique Bush, Dick, et les deux points. Avis de la nécessité I plus ?
Sie wissen, daß die Welt geht verrückt, wenn das beste rapper ein weißes Individuum sein wird, besser golfista ein schwarzes Individuum ist das höhere Individuum, wie das NBA er chinesisch ist sie er Faser durch asimiento Schweizer Amerikas, Frankreich zeigt die VEREINIGTEN STAATEN wegen der Arroganz, Deutschland wünscht nicht bekämpfen zu gehen und nennt an den drei Männern eine größere Reichweite Amerikas Bush, Dick und die zwei Punkte. Ansicht von Notwendigkeit I mehr?
They know that the world goes moved, if the best will be RWSBY a white individual better golfista a black individual is the higher individual, like the NBA it is Chinese it it to fiber through asimiento Swiss America, France shows the United States because of the arrogance, Germany wishes not fighting not to go and calls a larger range America Bush, thick and the two points at the three men. Opinion of necessity I more?
Professor Einstein convinces the Princeton University Board of Regents that time is money. The parking space, however, would have to wait.
Came across this in several places, but clicked there via Ted. (I forgot to grab the url for the site, but Ted has it. So, go there and play around with it, too. Tre fun!)
After walking around in the warm sunny non-rainy afternoon yesterday, I went in search of something to write about and spent quite a bit of time here. In short: It ain't easy to destroy the planet Earth.
Careful, now. It's a long, interesting read.
If you're looking for a good story go here!
Lefties are encouraged to visit rightie blogs and, with all civility, engage in the comments. I gotta start blogging more politics and up my traffic if I'm gonna get on this list.
Tip o'the tam to Annika.
He said he was going to put up DENIAL next. Apparantly it wasn't working yet, so Bill went back to an idea he gave up on some time ago. So ye may now go forth and read TRIBES!
The Emperor has penned a hilarious account of his first visit to a McDonald's that opened up way back when he was in the olde country. Reading McDonald's described by someone who hadn't grown up with it is a pretty bewildering and eye-popping experience in and of itself. Beverage alert!
And, I tried to write part deux of my previous post -- how I got the envelopes to run through the press -- but a blow-by-blow account of the miracle working was too tedious a read even for me. So, instead, I'll write a short discription of the weird apparata (word?) that I assembled.... tomorrow, after I actually run the job. And you'll get to find out if all actually worked out.
And when will autumn get here? My room is a frickin' sauna.
I've read quite a few tributes since James Doohan passed away few days ago, but THIS ONE -- an obituary of Captain Mongomery Scott -- takes the
cake scotch, neat.
Here's what looks to be cool site called File Cabinet. It's a bunch of videos that people have uploaded and a lot of 'em look like they're pretty darn interesting.
Unfortunately, most 'em are .wmv files. There a few .mov, .asi and .swf files, too. My 'puter can't play any of 'em! :(
Does anyone know how I can get my 'puter to play these? Or how to download them and turn them into .mpegs?
Marcus Cole An honest and chivalrous adventurer that pursues just causes, you would sacrifice much to help others.
I am a Ranger. We walk in the dark places no others will enter. We stand on the bridge and no-one may pass. We live for the One, we die for the One.
I've never seen Babylon 5, so I know nada about this character. I'm a little surprised by the description, but, thinking back on the questions and how I answered them, I guess I can see why it was scored this way.
Maybe I'll go through the questions one-by-one and 'splain my answers.
Tip o'the tam to Stephen Macklin who scored as Jean-Luc Picard. I'm jealous. Then again, I'm the one eating one of the greatest meatloafs every made. Too bad I didn't write down what I did.
bbrother didn't think that anyone would visit Winter Songs so he gave up after one post. Then he found out that he did have visitors afterall. He's back, and the blog is turning into what I'd hoped it'd be when I found out that he wanted to do it. So, go give bbrother another read. You wont be sorry!
Hey, did y'all realize that Mean Mr. Mustard is back? Check it out at Mean Mr. Mustard version 2.0.
Didn't mean to become so Schiavo-centric lately, but, y'know.
So, a woman was arrested today for trying to give Terri water. Um. Wasn't the point that Terri alledgedly didn't want to live a "artificial" life support? The feeding tube was removed (though I'm hard pressed to consider that "artificial" life support). But, why the ban on attempting to feed her?
Seems to me that the courts have gone from saying "Terri must not live on 'artificial life supporty'" to saying "Terri must not be allowed to live under any circumstances". Her ex-nurses say she can swallow jello and liquids, but she is banned from any attempt at ingesting any nurishment on her own. Maybe she can, maybe she can't. But, can we at least let her die trying?
Terri Schiavo has been sentenced to death because she is mentally impaired. No. Other. Reason.
If she were a corporation, we'd indict the Chief Financial Officer--her HINO (husband-in-name-only).
If she were a killer, she'd be protected under the supreme court's ban on executing the retarded.
If she were a terrorist, Teddy Kennedy would be making blistering speeches on the Senate floor condemning her torture-by-starvation.
Read 'em all.
If you ever follow just one link I've ever posted, follow THIS ONE! This is vintage
Rachel Lucas Blue-Eyed Infidel. Loaded for bear, on target and On. Frickin'. Fire.
There are so many blogs on my blogroll that I never bother to visit.
(And there so many blogs that I visit that aren't on my blogroll!)
Strolling through Munuvia I clicked on a blog that I don't believe I've ever visited before: S.A.P.S.A. (San Antonio Polio Survivors' Association).
I don't know what else is there, but I'm sure you wont be sorry if you read this recent post.
UPDATE: Read this, too!
And here's a word of advise (from a different SAPSA post): When you write a check to pay down the balance of a credit account, do NOT write the entire credit card # in the memo line. Only write the last 4 digits. The credit card company will know the rest but no one else will.
Granted, it's not likely that your mail will wind up in someone else hands. But, just in case. It's a wise precaution.
Has a Munuvian ever fisked another Munuvian? I doubt it. It'd be kinda like a democracy battling another democracy. T'ain't never happened and t'ain't gonna happen, right?
25 Things Men Shouldn't Find Sexy, But Do
...and I'm just gonna suck on a cigarette and chime in and out with my own canardical observations.
1. BIKE SEATS
Their primary purpose is to be straddled. Is it any wonder we want to be reincarnated as one?
2. GIRLS FIGHTING
Cursing, crying, pulling hair, throwing drinks, abusing bathroom attendants and being convicted of assault: sexy. A mug shot with a tear-streaked face: even sexier.
3. THE AUTOMATED FEMALE VOICE YOU HEAR WHEN YOU DIAL 4-1-1
"I think you said, 'Spank me hard.' Is this correct? To confirm, press 1 or say yes."
Very serious matter, seven years of training, blah, blah, blah...We just want a set of those stirrup things. Think they can be rented for private parties?
5. LEOPARD PRINTS
Because they say, "I really do not care." Just add vodka and Bon Jovi for a down-and-dirty good time.
Now, mid-'80s printed pants... that's sexy!
6. OUR FRIENDS' MOMS They were hot when we were 13 and didn't know any better. Then we grew out of it - only to grow back into it. We were right the first time.The older I/she get/s, the more I think I was right the second time.
But we'll always have
Parents the First Time.
7. GIRLS HUGGING
Look! Their nipples are almost touching! Damn those blouses!
8. WOMEN DRESSED AS MEN
Either lolling around in our shirts the morning after or doing the full drawn-on-mustache cigar-suit thing. It's like Groucho Marx with a vagina.
9. SHOE-STORE EMPLOYEES TYING YOUR LACES
It was the most mind-blowingly erotic experience of our young lives. Now we have to buy $500 shoes for the pleasure. At least we're smart enough to ask for double knots.
10. FEMALE BARTENDERS
If we passed them on the street, we wouldn't look twice. But put them in a dark room and in charge of beer and suddenly we're babbling idiots. And not just because we're wasted out of our mind. Well, it's not totally because we're wasted out of our mind.
11. FEMALE POLICE OFFICERS
Beneath the stern expression, starched shirt and firearm is the soft, yielding, lightly scented flesh of a woman. A woman who could shoot us if we looked at her the wrong way. Ideally, while we're handcuffed to the headboard.
Female officers: You may need to extra-specially establish dominance in a given situation due to your fairer countenance. We know that. But, geeze, can you not be such a bitch about it?!
12. PREGNANT WOMEN
Because their boobs get even bigger. And because they're broadcasting to the entire world that they just had sex.
Maybe it's just my upbringing telling me that a mother is (paradixically) virginal.
Or maybe I just can't find a good reason to have a thing for women whose walking around carrying another man's son or daughter.
Nope. Pregnant women are the opposite of sexy. I think you're just being wierd on this one! :P
13. FAT GIRLS
We come for the cleavage. We stay for the sex. We leave in shame - satiated shame.
14. SCHOOLGIRL UNIFORMS
Especially when worn by Japanese girls. White socks optional. Pigtails essential. It's not a fetish if 100 percent of men like it - it's a law of nature.
Remember your first love? How sweet and magical it seemed?
Funk that! Remember your first hard-on?! That's what school was all about, eh?!
15. JESSICA RABBIT
If she lets a stuttering bunny take a crack at her, it means we might actually have a chance. But unfortunately, we're not a cartoon. Hear that, Lucy Van Pelt? There's no way that's our baby!
Fun but dumb.
16. HELENA BONHAM CARTER IN PLANET OF THE APES
Yes, a monkey girl. Is that so wrong? Know what? Watch a female ape eat a banana and get back to us.
17. CONDOM INSTRUCTIONS
Not that we need instruction, but the detailed language and explicit diagrams make us want to try it right now. (And don't think we won't.) They're also good for a little light bathroom reading.
18. WOMEN WHO HATE US
Particularly if they've belittled us in front of our friends, called us ugly and/or gay and are going out with much better-looking, manlier men than us. Those girls are as hot as our confidence is shattered.
19. CAROLYN FROM THE APPRENTICE
She's like a female cop, but with an extra dash of fascism.
20. LINGERIE DEPARTMENTS
Not the lingerie itself, but rather the notion that we might get a sales girl so wildly turned on by our blithely fingering the same undies she's wearing that she has to enact her fantasy of raunchy sex with a total stranger in the nearest dressing room. (Preferably, that stranger would be us.)
I wouldn't know... ;)
We hear that women who wear them also sport ultrasexy lingerie underneath, reserved for the eyes of their husbands. Now that's all we can think about. Allah, please forgive us! And angry husbands, don't stone us!
22. TAN LINES
The pale parts look even more naked next to the tanned parts. This also works with sock marks and bra indentations.
23. FEMALE COLLEAGUES BENDING OVER
You respect her. She respects you. Then you stare at her ass crack like it's the Grand Canyon.
24. VISIBLE PANTY LINES
Because they're visible! And they're panties!
25. HORSEBACK RIDING
Expert thighs clamped around hard, quivering muscle? Ass-whipping? Steamy snorting? Notorious for giving young women their first orgasms? Bareback and mounting? If that's not sublimated sex, then neither is Kathy Bates' nude hot-tub scene in About Schmidt.
That's all, folks. Except that there's more!
And as an added bonus, in the extended entry are Five Things We Should Find Sexy...But Don't.
1. FEMALE EJACULATION
The only thing she should be squirting is perfume. Or mace.
2. SEX AND THE CITY
One's an actual lesbian, and they don't even work it in? We wuz robbed!
3. WOMEN WHO LIKE FOOTBALL
Next thing you know, they'll be farting and stealing our Cheetos.
Cuddling is only hot when penetration is involved.
5. JULIA ROBERTS Unless you have a horse fetish.Julia Roberts? Oh, she seemed pretty way back when. But I still have no clue about what she looks like from the neck down. There's probably a reason for that. She's an "act-tresss..."
Let's just agree (however painful it might be) to look at the women in Vogue and then to look at the women in Penthouse. They're different. The women in Penthouse have curves and boobs and butts!
Which mag would Julia Roberts most likely be featured in?!
Dennis Leary's The A$$hole Song. Who'd a-thought that a stick figure could be such a showman?
Hat-tip to Ghost of a Flea for posting this!
UPDATE: And THIS ONE's fun to play with! Click the harmonizing horsies to make them sing or shut up.
Nick Queen has an idea: each Thursday let's link to 3 of our favorite blogs!
Michael King has a post about moonbats gone mad about a t-shirt,
RP wonders where to draw the line between building up his daughter's self-esteem vs. vanity.
an Susie's wondering how to get out of not completely blowing nearly $2,000 on a useless class that she wasn't able to complete!
Okay, back to lurking...
LeAnn The Cheesemistress of Chaos has made a list of her favorite music performers; one for every letter of the alphabet.
Me likey! Me do same!
(Sometimes I include more than one per letter just because.)
Beatles / Beach Boys / The Bible (as far as I know The Bible only made one album, but it was awesome)
(there as so many 'B's to choose from! honorable mention to Blondie, the Byrds, the B-52s, Beethoven, Chuck Berry who frickin' invented rock n roll...)
Costello, Elvis / Cohen, Leonard / The Clash
Elliman, Yvonne (okay, I got nothin' for 'E' . I'll give it to Yvonne only because she sang "I Don't Know How To Love Him")
Guthrie, Woody / Guy, Buddy
Holly, Buddy (I re-e-eally like the name 'Buddy'...)
(wow, this is harder than I thought it'd be...)
Jackson 5 (gotta be true to my first idols!) / Jethro Tull
King Missile / KISS (yeah, I've still got a soft spot for them psycho circus clowns...)
Lennon, John / Lehrer, Tom / Led Zeppelin
Mozart, Wolfgang / Mitchell, Joni / Marillion
Newman, Randy / New York Dolls
Ono, Yoko (yes, really. well, everything up through Season Of Glass. everything after that is - even for me - unlistenable.)
Ramones / Rolling Stones
Smith, Patti / Sex Pistols (just for good measure)
Talking Heads / Thunders, Johnny
U2 (yeah, I know, Bono's got a Christ-complex. but I still like alot of their music...)
Waters, Roger (except for that "Radio Kaos" krap. Incidentally: I've never considered "The Final Cut" to be a Pink Floyd album, but to be Roger's first solo album)
Young, Neil / Yankovic, Weird Al (Weird Al is a musical. freakin'. genius.)
Speaking of musical geniuses...
As a footnote (even though I listed the Beach Boys) I'd like this name to stand alone: Brian Wilson.
To me Brian Wilson, Paul McCartney and John Lennon are the alpha and omega.
Elvis me this and Springsteen me that... They are the foundation of nearly everything that has come after them in popular music.
I kind of expected to be BJ Honeycutt.
Thanks to Annika for the link.
When I first heard Charlie Rengel (D-NY) yammer on about reinstituting the draft because, he argues, the burden isn't shared equally among the rich and poor (or whites and non-whites), I just wanted to pull my hair out!
(Okay, I could use a trim about now but going for the "clear look" might frighten the cats.)
(Senator Ernest Hollings also pushes to bring back the draft, but I've never heard his talk about it so I'll just stick to Rengel.)
Let's assume that Rengel's argument is valid; that young men and women volunteering to serve in the armed forces is due -- not to a desire to serve their country and/or out of a feeling of responsibility to defend all that is good and fair and free in this old world -- but to merely escape the economic dead-end that is their situation at home.
Having served -- and remembering those that I served with -- I don't buy it. But let's just assume, for now, that Charlie is 100% right.
What is his solution then (as if this was a problem that required a solution)? To deny the opportunity to these "dead-enders" that Service will provide. Funding for college, VA medical benefits, the training and discipline that would help anyone unfortunate enough to be in an economic and, possibly, emotional desert.
Meanwhile it would also swipe aside the higher educational or career plans of those who choose not to enter the military simply because they want to contribute something else altogether to their community.
Congressman Rengel's desire to bring back the draft would only replace willing volunteers with unwilling conscripts. And, as with any plan that is anti-choice, it would leave no one satisfied.
The willing volunteer would be denied his opportunity to escape the dead end. The unwilling conscript would be denied his chosen path, as well.
The military would be denied it's willing volunteer and be saddled with an unwilling conscript. No one would be happy with this arrangement.
No - bah - dy!!! (<--Warner Wolf reference)
But, (oh yeah! I've got a link!) Walter Williams has another take on a reinstitution the draft. He's an economics professor and his column is, of course, focused on the economic aspect of the argument.
Here's a taste:
Rest assured that if the military offered a compensation package of, say, $50,000 to $100,000 a year, it could get all the soldiers it wanted. Thus, lesson No. 1 is that whenever there's a draft, you know that the wage is too low to get a sufficient number of people to voluntarily supply their labor services.
Being employed producing the hardware for the defense of our country need not be voluntary. The government could send us draft notices ordering us to report for work at General Dynamics' Texas track-vehicle facility at $400 a month. If the government did this, would you call it a draft or slave labor? Not to worry, the Defense Department offers attractive contracts to firms like McDonnell Douglas and General Dynamics, and they in turn offer attractive wages to employees, and thus, volunteerism gets the right number of workers to make the right number of jets and tanks.
Charlie Rengel's argument is economically-based and Walter Williams demonstrates beautifully that an economist know more about the economy than a mere US congressmen does.
(I could say that Rengel's argument is race-based, but I don't wanna go there. I actually like Charlie. He may wear his ass as a hat, but that's no crime...)
So, if the freedom of choice argument isn't good enough for ya, take a gander at Walter's economic argument against the draft. It's well worth it (if yer into this sort of thing)!
Yet another day of no blogging here; I'll be spending the day at a friend's house experimenting with traditional Moroccan recipes in preparation for her first foray into cooking for her Moroccan boyfriend. Mmmm, fooooood.
But, pssst, I see there's a lot of cool reading over at Hit & Run!
The problem with the New Blog Showcase is that it's a competition between new blogs. Some know exactly what they want their blog to be and how to be it. But most, I bet, are still finding their voice and their blogs will probably shortly become something other than what they are now.
That said, the entry this week that I have any desire whatsoever to vote for is American Amnesia, both for this entry and on the strength of the overall mission: to remind us of our own history so that we can meet the future having learned the lessens of our past.
My vote in this week's New Blog Showcase goes to exvigilare even though the link at the Showcase doesn't get me to a post about MoveOn.org as promised. The other posts, though, make the blog an interesting and fun read. But, I really wanted to read about MoveOn.org. Guess I'll just have to read the whole blog!
FrankJ is back from his trip to Guantanamo! Posting will resume manana.
If you're reading this then you've shown up here dispite my warning that I wouldn't be posting for at least a week while I try to put my f'd up life into some f'n order. YOU RULE!!!!!!!!! :D
The best I can do right now is to steer you to some others' good stuff.
Stevie discusses mistakenly appropriated Joisey versions of Windows. (Put your drink down for this one!)
Happy New Year!!!!
Media Research Center has their 16th annual Awards posted!
Scroll down and check out the cool categories; it's a fun read. (Quite an impressive list of judges, too.)
You go read now!
Slim pickin' this week, but I'm voting for Justin's My Word for this post. Lots of other posts there worth checking out!. (The link doesn't go to the post, but it still seems to register a vote at the New Blog Showcase.)
My vote in this week's New Blog Showcase goes to Anti-Antiwar.
I didn't read it 'cause I've had a full day today, but the snippet of the sample post looked like it might be pretty good.
It has 30 votes so far and is in 1st place, so I'll assume everybody else read it and it was pretty good.
Here are my votes for the New Blog Showcase
In the poliblog category I'm going to resist the jumping on the smackdown of Al Franken bandwagon and vote for Michael Froomkin's Discourse.
I'm kinda surprised that I'm the first blogger voting for this one. The entry is a well-written piece about waking up from the complacency of taking our freedom for granted.
He begins by telling of how he laughed of his German grandmother's warning that the Nazis might one day come to America. Then, while not hysterically asserting that a Nazi tyranny is coming, lists some potentially freedom-eroding policies such as Gitmo, the Patriot Act and other policies currently en vogue in the Ashcroft Justice Department.
I haven't read any of his other posts so I have no idea if he's a liberal, a libertarian or whatever, but I was impressed with this Showcase entry. So, there we are.
In the non-poliblog category I'm voting for fly killa's Ripe Bananas.
I guess this is in the "non-political blog" category because it's not wholey a poliblog, but there are some cool political posts there, as well.
I'm not sure why the "Vegan Marshmellows" post was selected for the Showcase (the entire post is "excerpted" on the entries page).
I'm voting for Ripe Bananas on the strength of the blog as a whole.
Go to the link and scroll down two posts and read her fisking of Amnesty International's UK Director, Kate Allen. It's "fiskalicious"!!
Also, Bill Whittle has had a new post up since Friday. Here's a taste:
But realize this: There is not going to be a parade when we are done with this battle. Noam Chomsky is not going to stand up and admit he was wrong. Michael Moore is not going to shave, diet and join the Screaming Eagles. The giant puppets will still be there on some new imagined outrage, because people who put “protestor” down as their occupation on their (declined!) mortgage applications are never going to be happy with anything.
Noel over at Sharp Knife has an examination of one of the hot-button issues of our time -- nay; of all time. You go read now!!
NOTE: I can't link to the specific post, so I linked to his November archives. The post in questtion is titled "Some Things".
UPDATE: Scroll down some more on the link and read "Why Settle For Simple Justice" (posted Nov 26th). Aw, hell, just read everything!
I tried to get Noel off of BlobSnot a few months ago, but he didn't bite. Whaddaya think, guys n' gals? Should we ask him again if he wants to be a Munuvian?
When The Bartender asks you what drink you are: you tells 'im!!
Here I come
typing in my screen
it's got the funniest look of
any screen I've seen
But hey, hey, it's the Showcase
of new bloggers bloggin' around
but I'm too busy squinting
to read what they've written down
Plus, we gotta out-vote the League of Losers!! Keep on it!!
Dang! I really wanted to be Riff Raff.
Thanks to LeeAnn for the heads-up (even though this was one of the crappier quizzes).
Okay, I'm not sure how this is supposed to work, but, if I understood the instructions, this oughtta be my vote:
Also, check out spinsanity.org! It's close to my original vision of Blather Review (if I'd only had the time and/or resources to make it happen!).
The Lemon shows us the life-cycle of a news story. The Dowd - Limbaugh frames are worth the price of admission! Perhaps time constraints are forcing Shamus to post less verbose fake-news items. But if the result is that we get these nifty
(and more originally styled) entries 6 times a month then I'm satisfied!
And of course *hush* Bill Whittle. I know, I know; everybody's already linked to it. But in case it's news to you: assume RESPONSIBILITY! Yee-haw!
OH! and Noel, over at Sharp Knife, has an excellent smackdown of Bill Richardson.
Since he's on BlobSnot I can't hyperlink the entry (Pixy? Dean? Someone needs a flashlight!), so you'll just have to read everything he ever wrote and guess what I was pointing at!! Mwah-hah-hah!!
No, it's the post of Aug 19th titled "The New Dark Age."
(Note to Noel: Put you're post titles in bold; it makes 'em bolder!)
Keep It Simple is a boozeless "bar" in Edmonton, Canada that caters to recovering alcoholics and drug addicts. It allows smoking. The government now only allows smoking in establishments that have a liquor license. The government wont allow Keep It Simple to get a liquor license because they have no intention of serving liquor.
It's just the latest example of the contortions we have to work through when we allow the State to infringe on our Liberty and Property.
Read about it from Colby Cosh
(Link thanks to the Satanic hobo snuffer.)
The Internet serves many great purposes. The spread of information; we can look up stuff in a flash rather than schlep to the library. For business; I've sold record albums to vinylphiles from Brooklyn to Hong Kong. Fun and games, news, and research. And, of course, the Blogosphere!
But it's not to be a way to exact some petty vengeance on people you maybe don't get along with for some reason. This horror story from Venomous Kate makes my blood boil... and when it's 98 degrees in the shade, it just makes me madder!
Wrap the duct tape tightly around your head before reading that link, because you're head WILL explode, and you'll need to keep the wreckage from flying too far.
Then read the Emporer's post and comments thread for the usual high calibre discussion of C.P.S.
(Link courtesy of Wizbang via Susie. Go read them, too!!)
In lighter news, the new LEMON is posted! It gives a short overview of the Democratic presidential field, a parody of an onion.com sidebox feature with the Q: What Are We Writing In Our Weblog? (a couple of which I plead guilty to!), and a poll on the most sexy cartoon character (I voted for Tinkerbell :))
Silverblue has a great litany in a poem about his (our) fond memories of growing up in a world before video games, crass merchandising of movies and cable tv took over kids' lives.
Also, Bill Whittle has sworn by the Royal Blood that he will have his new essay, RESPONSIBILITY, up by "weeks end." Should be up at any moment now!!
I love snopes.com!
Several long-standing "truths" in particular have been de-mythed (for me) tonight.
Firstly, I've heard and read from various sources (some of them reputable) that there are more people alive today than have ever lived and died before. And I believed it, too! grrrrrr!
Secondly, we've all heard the "fact" that we only use ten percent of our brains. I've always suspected this to be a crock, but until now I've heard no refutation of it.
But this is the most shocking to me, since I did a high school science project on the Coriolus effect -- and got an A!! That sinks and toilets drain and flush in opposite directions in the Northern and Southern hemisperes was a given, even canonized, in an episode of The Simpsons. Imagine my chagrin...I dare ya!
Finally (for now), it turns out that the swimming pools of our youth were NOT laced with a urine detector dye! Y'mean that all that time I could've been whizzing to my bladders content in beautiful anonymity?! Arrgh!
Finally, after a weeks hiatus, a new issue of The Lemon is out!!!!
It's a bit differant this time. Shamus seems to want to stretch out of a strict Onion-parody scheme and let loose with his own whimsy. If this issue is any indication, let the whimsy begin!!!
Either way, get over there and start splittin' yer dang sides, awready!!!
Well, I've officially lost my mind! Then again, what else am I gonna do on a dreary rainy saturday afternoon?
So, without further ado, my new Df%#ilms:
I found some scenes on the cutting room floor over at Pixy Misa's. The camera's were rolling when a castmember had a complaint for the director.
So waste not one more moment and check out BlogFather: Behind The Scenes!
Yep, it's Sunday, and the latest issue of the Lemon is out! Check out the item on the Berkeley study, laugh-out-loud funny as usual!