July 31, 2004

One year ago today

[I got the idea from Jennifer to post past posts passed over the first time 'round when you've nothing new prepared -- but with a twist. The Anniversary Post! Without ado 'bout nothin' here's my post from one year ago today. It's nothing to write home about, but what the hay...:]

Uh-oh! America Caused 9-11 Again...

What is it with Colleges and Ignorance these days?
See this article in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

"Waukesha - Convinced that American racism played a role in the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, Waukesha County activists are planning a major new effort to promote racial and ethnic harmony."

American racism played a role in the Sept 11 attacks?! American racism?!

" We need to understand the world; we need to accept the world."
- Mary Baer, co-chairwoman of the Waukesha County Diversity Task Force

..or maybe parts of the world need to accept and understand that suckling at our proverbial teat while simultaneously kneeing us in the proverbial groin kinda makes us wonder if they deserve to be "understood."

"The kickoff date: the second anniversary of the day of horror."

Yep. And their three-year mission: to explore strange new ways of blaming America first; to seek out new lies and new civil distractions; to boldly go deeper than any ass-helmet has gone before!

"Organizers say the connection to terrorism is simple: If Americans were more tolerant of racial and ethnic minorities, we would not evoke hostility abroad and would not have been attacked Sept. 11, 2001, by Islamic extremists from the Middle East."

Newsflash for the dim bulbs: Any social, systemic, personal or narrow-minded racism that may exist among Americans has nada to do with the Middle East. Racism has Everything to do with the Middle East.
Can a muslim in America walk down the street with a copy of the Koran?
Can a Christian or Jew walk down the street in Saudi Arabia reading the Torah or the Bible?
America stands for Individualism, Numb-lobe. It is not any intolerence on the part of America that caused Sept 11; it was the intolerence FOR American freedoms by the homocidal Islamist terrorists.

"Some of the reasons it happened are our arrogance and our ignorance," said Mary Baer, co-chairwoman of the Waukesha County Diversity Task Force. "We need to understand the world; we need to accept the world."

As a society we do, Mary. We shovel billions of dollars a year into the collective oil-hole of that all-too-common political dinosaur known as Tyrannus Rectus.

The Islamist terrorists who rule and pollute the Middle East don't fear Racism, they practice it. They hate Freedom. It interferes with their utopian goal that all-men-are-muslim-or-they-shall-die. They fear free elections, freedom of expression, freedom of religeon, free exchange of ideas. They are isolationists and tyrants who fear that any influence of Western culture threatens their own influence on their countrymen.

They ban Western music, movies, television, news...
They want nothing more than to keep those Evil influences away from their huddled masses lest an idea as strong as Liberty actually begin to ring true to them, thus loosening the hold the screeching ululators have on Power.

I remember that there was some issue about President Bush calling the 9-11 terrorists "cowards." "Oh, no! They're so brave and selfless to give their lives for Allah! They're not cowards!"

But, they are. Because they pathetically shake themselves to sleep in a cold sweat in fear that free people -- making their own Independent decisions about life and God -- might come to differant conlusions than they have. A True Believer who secretly doubts his own certainty, when certainty is required, would fear and reject anyone and any culture that does not share or promote his beliefs with his own zeal. Funny thing is; these skidmarks on the shorts of humanity want to take it to murderous extremes. Call me "crazy", but I don't think any group hugs are in the offing.

9-11 was caused by some Islamists' hatred and paranoia of "foreign" (i.e. 18th century) influence, not by any racism that may exist in the hearts of some of the diverse and free people of America.

Posted by Tuning Spork at 07:59 PM | Comments (1)

July 30, 2004

A happy birthday to my baby sistah!

Yep, li'l sis hit the big 4-0 today. I'm sure she doesn't give any more of a rat's ass about it then I did... or did I.....? hmmmmmm

Sorry I haven't been lurking 'round the blogosphere in recent days. I've been bizzy bizzy bizzy.

For those anywhere near Indianapolis, Indiana, I'll be making an appearance on John Strauss' "First Day" radio program on WIBC (AM-1070) Sunday at 12:10pm CDT to talk about my Fred LaRue = Deep Throat theory. This oughta be fun! :D

I have no idea of what's going on in the news n' stuff lately. I've been focussed on domestic issues such as my mid-summer spring cleaning. I swear, I just don't know how all these record albums got from the den and into my room. I must have been planning to make a Neil Young CD because his entire repertoire is leaning en masse against my left stereo speaker -- and obstructing a clean walk to the door.

Anywhy, I have a bunch of posts ready to go, like: why shaving in the shower is better than shaving in the mirror; a look at the history of the word "god" in pop songs; a post called "Duty now for the future"; and "A Checkpoint Charlie of the Mind", etc. I just haven't had a moment's rest to relax and type it out like I want to.

And how do you tell yer house-mate, Chris, that you spent a lot of money on those tomato plants and that, maybe, just maybe, you'd like to get to eat a tomato now and then?
I mean, I've got the well-marinated top round in the fridge so I can make a batch of chili and no tomatoes! Now I gotta run to the supermarket tomorrow and BUY crappy tomatoes because Chris can't just stop eating mine!!!


Well, that's the best I can do today. Gotta go reaquaint myself with Watergate trivia for my talk-radio appearance on Sunday. Oh. boy. is. this. great!

Posted by Tuning Spork at 07:42 PM | Comments (0)

July 29, 2004


I'm watching John Kerry's acceptance speech at the Democratic Convention. I've always heard that the most common word used in the English language is "I". I've never been convinced of that. But I am convinced that "I" is the a word that I've been deluged with in this speech. I'm serious. This is the most reminded that I have been in a while that I feel just how disgusting the word "I" is when I have to listen to it over and I. er... and over.

UPDATE: "...and I will end the back-door draft of our National Guarddmen and the reservists."

Posted by Tuning Spork at 10:28 PM | Comments (0)

July 27, 2004

Fred LaRue, R.I.P

I just received an e-mail from a staff writer for the Biloxi, Mississippi Sun-Herald informing me that Fred LaRue has passed away this morning.

If you don't know who Fred LaRue is and/or are wondering why in the world a writer for a Mississippi newspaper has contected li'l ol' me, just have a gander at THIS. It's my working theory that Fred was the mysterious Deep Throat during the Watergate period. He might want to talk to me about it since - as far as any of us knows - I'm the only one who's ever put the idea out there.

Bob Woodward, Carl Bernstein and Ben Bradlee have always maintained that DT was a single male individual - not a composite - and that they'd reveal his identity after he dies. If Fred was DT then we should be hearing from them shortly.

Perhaps they may wait a week or so since August 9th will be the 30th anniversay of Richard Nixon's resignation (wow, time flies!). If we don't hear from them by the 9th then I guess Fred wasn't DT afterall and I've been wrong for the past 12 years. Oh well, I've been wrong about bigger things for longer times, mheh...

Posted by Tuning Spork at 08:21 PM | Comments (0)

Annie day now....

Either I'm too paranoid or I'm just too darn willing to give snopes.com the benefit of the doubt. I can't decide which and, right now, I can go either way on this one.

Check this out.

Maybe Annie Jacobson "overreacted"; or maybe the 9-11 Commission erred in stating that terrorists are conducting dry-runs of what they've got up their sleeves. I dunno....

The corroberated behavior? The expired visas?

Maybe Annie did suspect that something was afoot when there wasn't. But if somebody even more clued-in than Snopes.com thinks that She may not have been daffy, I'd probably defer to that body.

I'm none too thrilled that no other passengers have come forward about this alledged event. But I'm none too happy that an air marshall has confirmed it, either.
I don't know what the $#@!&*^% is going on here, but I do know that a young writer isn't likely to throw her career away on a silly ruse like this.

If Snopes.com is right then Annie Jacobson has joined the ranks of Jayson Blair and that gal who won the Pulitzer for making up stories in the Washington Post some 20-odd years ago.

Annie, Ye have been challenged by the best.

Come out swinging or come clean. Michelle has invested her time and reputation on you. If you're not sure, after all this, then let us all know now. And that means NOW.

Don't be scared. You've committed no crime.... yet. Be sure about yourself and your story and be sure that you haven't let fear color your perceptions in ways you may not even at this frickin' moment be aware of.

Michelle deserves better. You deserve better. We all deserve better than all this rediculous doubt.
We await each other's clarity.

Posted by Tuning Spork at 02:10 AM | Comments (5)

July 26, 2004

Food for Thought... ?

Far be it for me to judge anyone else's dietary choices. I rarely feel hungry and have to remind myself to eat before I lose too much weight and run into er... problems.

(btw, just in case any regulars were wondering, I've been eating well for the past two months or so, and taking multi-vitamins and calcium suppliments and I feel great! Just finished two steaks topped with the best steak sauce I've yet to come across: Newman's Own!)

Anywho, I got on the #4 bus at the terminal downtown this evening while on my way home, and a very.. mmm... large young lady sat down beside me and to my left. I'm a pretty svelt fella, of course, but still this gal overflowed into the aisle.
The bus was early and we'd be sitting here for a few minutes while the driver stood outside and grabbed a smoke.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see her munching on some kinda snack food out of a bag in her left hand. I figured she had some potato chips.

After a few minutes I glanced over to see what this BBW was enjoying so much. That's when I saw that it was a Dunkin' Donuts bag and she was eating munchkins. I'll bet she ate 12 to 15 munchkins in the 4 or 5 minutes that we sat there waiting for the bus to move.


She and I, each, live in a world that the other will never understand.

Posted by Tuning Spork at 09:42 PM | Comments (0)

How soft your fields, so green, will whisper tales of Gore...

I just watched Al Gore's speech at the convention and I'll say right off that I was impressed. He didn't go all red-faced with hate and anger at any time. He did get a little feisty with some angry words, but immediately he turned it into a positive message -- of sorts.

He mentioned 2000 several times, but followed each mention with either a punchline or a plea to get to the polls because every vote counts.
I disagreed with 75% of the substance of what he said, but he didn't make me want to throw things at my TV screen.

Anyway, here are some quotes and notes (very pithy):

About the 2000 election results:
"You know what they say; You win some you lose some... and then there's that third category..."

Y'mean the one where you lose the election and then whine about it for the next four years?

"Isn't international co-operation crucial to solving our dilemma in Iraq?"

No, but it was crucial to causing it.

"If our leaders make mistakes we can hold them accountable... even if they never admit their mistakes."

Well, we haven't yet y'Buddhist temple shakedown artist.

About John Kerry:
He was diligent "in opposing eco-..er... narco-terrorism..."

Heh heh... caught yerself pretty good there, Al.

UPDATE Wow. They actually finally let Jimmy "Malaise" Carter within 500 feet of a convention zone! Go figure.

Posted by Tuning Spork at 09:12 PM | Comments (0)

July 25, 2004

Just a quickie while the stove does it's business

So, I was at the supermarket earlier getting raw materials for my next foray into being grossly mistaken about how different flavors will interact creative cooking.
A gentlemen of about 50 was standing behind me as I tried to decide which bottle of fruit juice I wanted. Cran-grape, cran-apple, cran-raspberry, etc.

Suddenly he starts to bitch about how he can't find sugar-free fruit juice.

"How come I don't see any sugar-free fruit juice?! Six f'n shelves full of fruit juice and not one sugar-free one! 20 million diabetics in this country and you can't get a godddam bottle of sugar-free fruit juice!"

"Well," I said, "I'm pretty sure that it's over in aisle 3 next to the reduced=sodium sea salt and the low=fat lard making fruit juice sugar-free is pretty impossible. But I just saw some Crystal Lite on that shelf over there...!"

"Crystal Lite, eh?" he muttered as he walked over and grabbed a canister.

That's all I got for now. My water's boiling and the garden zucchini is ready to be tossed into the pasta sauce. Mmmmm... zucchini over ziti...

UPDATE Oh. My. God.
I've made plenty of home-made pasta sauces in recent years, but this one took the cake! It's not even as "complicated" a concoction as they can get when I want to make a "winner". I think I'm excited about it only because I used an ingredient that I've never used before in a pasta sauce and now I could kick myself for not being aware of it as an possible ingredient all these years.

The ingredient? Black pepper. Simple dusty pre-ground McCormick black pepper! Too bad you can't taste or smell it through the monitor.

All I used was 1 can of Contadina stewed tomatoes, juice and all,
1/2 6oz can of tomato paste to thicken it up,
chunks of the cut-up zucchini,
and about 1/2 to 1 teaspoon (I just shook the jars over the pot) of dried basil, oregano, thyme, garlic powder (yeah, this was a quickie so I didn't even bother with chopping the fresh stuff), and black pepper.

I usually put some kind of hot sauce in it to give a wang, but I don't have any handy. The pepper was sitting next to the garlic powder in the cupboard and I just thought "What the hell..." and shook some of it into the pot.
Turned out to be an excellent choice as it gives the sauce quite a different sort of zing than it usually has.

Okay, okay, enough already. I'm getting me another bowl of this stuff....

Posted by Tuning Spork at 04:13 PM | Comments (8)

July 23, 2004


What ever happened to hats?

During the winter, when I was riding the bus because gawd-knows-what was wrong with my truck, a young lady (who looked like someone I'd never intentionally strike up a conversation with) grinned at me from across the bus and changed seats just to get close enough to tell me that she liked my hat.

(It's a jungle-camouflage hunting cap with loops on the crown for holding rounds of buck-shot.)

"Everyone today who even bothers to wear a hat wears some kinda baseball cap-style hat. It's so cool to see something else!" she swooned.

When I was in basic training we called the dress uniform hat the "bus driver hat". (You ladies don't want to know what we called that soft diner's-short-order-cook type thingy...)

But bus drivers don't wear hats anymore.
Neither do cops.
Neither do short order cooks.

It used to be that when you wore a uniform (i.e. worked a job), you wore an appropriate cap. Even the ice cream truck driver wore a c-cap!

And, O.T., what's with these ice cream trucks these days, anyway? It used to be that you ran up to the truck and the hatted man would pull levers and push buttons and produce a soft-cone of your favorite flavor, and nowadays they just reach into the freezer bin and pull out a wrapped piece of crap.
Oh, sure, it looks pretty. But, what is this? It's not an ice cream truck! It's just a Circus Clown's freezer case on wheels.

Mailmen don't wear hats anymore, either. Am I just becoming too old fashioned or wouldn't we all like that stranger walking on our property and up to our front door to be wearing an official hat if only as a sign that he's here on officially welcomed business?

Waitresses don't even wear tiarras anymore. I want my waitress in a pink dress with a white apron and crown. I don't want this tie-dyed jeans with the employee jersey half-tucked in crap anymore. I want my waitress!

Okay, hon', I know you like your "space". But, when you're doing your job you're in nothing less than my space. I give eight hours (at least) to my employer. Please do the same for yours. Truely.

My grandfather wore a hat everywhere he went and took it off whenever he stepped indoors. That's how we learned to do it back then when people seemed to have respect for some semblence of social protocol.


Perhaps we've already passed the point where we're just too darned convinced that donning a simple frickin' hat is too demanding on us. Has simple respect and a sense of duty toward each other long been poo-poo'd onto the compost heap of history? If we don't honor our duty to serve when we work, then what are we to honor? Ourselves?

If so then I fear that something a whole lot more valuable than hats has slipped through our fingers. Is it all too late to remember that space and propriety go hand in hand? That it's appropriate that my space ends where your expectations of me begin?

Hats, my friends.

And skirts. Ladies in skirts! (Believe me, gals, every body type looks best in a skirt!)

Duty now for the future; Bring back hats!

...and skirts!

They're healthy and nutritious!

Posted by Tuning Spork at 11:23 PM | Comments (4)

July 22, 2004

It's A Wonderful... Alibi?


The funniest thing I've heard in awhile happened from last night.

Ann Coulter was on Scarborough Country on MSNBC discussing Sandy Berger and his claim that he "inadvertently" took classified documents from the 9-11 Commission's reading room on five seperate occassions and may have "accidently" thrown some of said classified documents away.

With Bill Clinton, Lanny Davis and others defending the former National Security Advisor's honor by claiming that this would not be out of character for Berger, Coulter chided that the Democrats are defending Berger by painting him as Uncle Billy from It's A Wonderful Life. Hardly someone you'd pick as your chief national security advisor...


"Sorry, George, but I just can't remember where I last saw those CIA threat assessments!"

Maybe Sandy ought to tell his "friends" to just stop trying so frickin' hard to help him...?

Posted by Tuning Spork at 09:45 PM | Comments (0)

I got nothin'

I got nothin'

Posted by Tuning Spork at 12:24 AM | Comments (5)

July 19, 2004

It's not beal, it's just me

J'ever want to blog and yer all set and ready to type and you got nothin'? It's sorta like beal, where you got nothin' and that makes you lose interest in blogging. But I'm so eager to post yet I can't find the little list of post topics that I made last week when I was preparing to go live again.
Similarly, I just got a camcorder on saturday, but now I have to ideas about what to point it at. I took some footage of the dog and the cats and the garden just to see that the thing works, but that's it.

I finally put on the cable news channels tonight hoping for something interesting, but, so far, nothin'.

My tomatos are finally turning red. Woo hoo! And the raspberry bush is lit up like christmas tree with bright red raspberries. Woo hoo! The cucumbers are getting big, too. Yee haw! The peas bit the dust, though, since they weren't getting any sun after the cukes and zucchini began towering over them.
I picked a big honkin' zucchini last week and the plants have sinced collapsed the makeshift trestle. A lot of the branches twisted and don't see much more progress on the zucchs.

The acorn squash is taking over the yard! It vining into the lawn and up the tomato plants. I had to break six-foot long branches away from the 'maters and get them back on the ground. I think the'yre gonna choke the bushes behind the garden by september.


My housemate Chris and I just bought a new used refridgerator since our old one wouldn't keep things cold anymore. This is a ten-year old GE with an ice maker and an ice/cold water dispenser.

In order to hook it up, though, we'de have to drill a hole in the floor and run pipes underneath the kitchen from the sink to the 'fridge. We don't think the landlady would go for that, so Chris wants to do it without telling her.

"I never had a refridgerator with an ice maker before. I want ice! I'm gonna have ice with everything! Having ice would be so great, Bob! Think about it... ICE!"

But we have ice. They're those cold little cubes sitting in the ice cube trays! WE'VE ALWAYS HAD ICE!!!
It's amazing what makes some people all giddy.


My co-worker Lawruh seems think that I get drunk every night so she wants me to prove that I'm not an alcoholic by not having a single beer for a week. "Okay, fine," I said. But, now that I've made it a point not to have a beer, I really really want a beer.
Oh well, water and orange juice will have to do. I'll definately be making another batch of fresh squeezed homemade lemonade tomorrow. Mmmmm, citrus....

Anywho, sorry for lamo posting. I'll try to make yer visit more worthwhile tomorrow.

Posted by Tuning Spork at 10:47 PM | Comments (2)

July 17, 2004

YAY!!! (It really is an all-purpose post title, i'n't it?)

As of about 11:45 this morning I finally own something I've wanted for forever: a camcorder!!!

I found it at a tag sale one block away from my house. Panasonic.
It's complete with battery, battery charger, TV adapter and carrying case!


Look out, world, Spork is makin' munuvies!!!!


Posted by Tuning Spork at 09:20 PM | Comments (1)

Where did these flies come from?!

Last night I was cruising the blogosphere and a fly was annoyingly buzzing past me every few minutes.

How did a fly get in here? I keep the door to my room closed. The only time it's ever openned is when I enter or leave it 'cause I don't want the cats wandering in 'cause they'll send me into a sneezing fit.

Then there were two flies. Then three. What the huh?!

I had the TV on (probably FoxNews) and someone said something or was talking about an image and I turned 135 degrees to look at the TV and there were five flies on the screen.

Then six -- with two more bouncing on and off. Crud!!! They must have hatched in this room!!! I don't have any old food in here, that I know of, and there's no foul smell of mold or any decaying flesh that I may have mislaid and forgotten about! Is there?!! I openned the window and tried to get them to fly through, but it was dark out and they didn't seem to get that the window was a portal to the rest of their hectic short lives.

I went to bed with a bunch of flies in my room.

In the morning I was awoken by the sense of flies walking on my legs. So, groggy and underslept, I sat up up and openned the screen in the window above my bed. Within 30 seconds(!) about six to ten flies flew outside and I could almost swear that I heard them shouting "Yay!" as they left.

Some other flies needed to be coaxed through the window, but, as far as I can tell right now, all of 'em have successfully been relocated to their natural habitat which is definately NOT my bedroom.

Posted by Tuning Spork at 09:15 PM | Comments (0)

Can we talk?

Since the clutch on my truck burned out a few weeks ago I've been riding the bus to work. (My ordeal with the tow service and the police on i-95 may be fodder for a future post, but we'll let that 2 1/2 hour wait slide for now...) I seem to be blogging in rant mode lately. Oh well.

Here's some quick advice to my fellow bus patrons:

Get up for old ladies!

If all of the seats are filled and an old lady is staggering onto the bus: lift yer head out of that magazine and yer ass out of that seat and stop pretending that you haven't noticed her.

Hang up the damn phone!

Either talk more quietly or shut the fuck up. None of us are interested in your kids' latest traumas or yer girlfriend's yeast infection. Unless it's a life or death emergency: shut. up.

Don't talk to yer friends half-way across the bus!

Oh, you've noticed a rider that you know. How wonderful for you!
Wanna have a chat with her? Fine. Get off yer seat and find one eminently closer to her! I don't give a rat's ass about hearing about how Sara's dealing with yer f'd up idea of parenting. Got it?

Don't sit in the aisle seat when the window seat is empty!

We all know what yer up to. You want to be alone on the bus. Guess what, pally: you ain't. Yer gonna either brave the shame with the rest of us or suffer the slings and arrows of dirty looks from people who are better than you'll ever be and who'll live greater lives than you'll ever understand.

Bathe regularly!

It might be news to you but you stink. Take a shower.

My quick advice for bus drivers:

Get off the phone!

Don't run over and destroy the police pylons in a construction zone just because you just HAD to -- and would simply DIE if you DIDN'T -- ask yer buddy when you were gonna go fishing next.

Read and keep to the schedule!

When I ask you if this the 6:20 or the 6:35: don't tell me it's the "6:30". The Coastal Link isn't on the 20-minute schedule anymore. Don't you dare tell me yer driving a phantom bus.

If you ask if anyone is getting off at this stop and you get no response: the answer is "NO".
Don't keep shouting out the question. Don't grab yer CB-type mictrophone thingy Silence means "no" and don't make me shout "Doesn't look like it!" again.

If an old lady with two arm-loads of groceries gets on the bus: Wait until she sits down before you start moving the bus!

I had someone's gramma fall into my lap just 'cuz the driver jerked the bus onward before she had time to take a seat. Everyone kinda giggled because she landed so safely, but it could have been a lot worse.
If yer gonna have a rule that evryone must be seated when the bus is moving then don't move the damn bus until everyone is seated.

Drive smoothly!

You're the only one on the bus who's wearing a seatbelt. Remember that the next time you challenge that hairpin turn, m'kay? I want my coffee in my mouth not my lap.

Thank you. That is all. For now, mheh.


Posted by Tuning Spork at 12:06 AM | Comments (2)

July 15, 2004


I am so-o-o-o-o glad to be back on-line in time for today.

One year ago today I left blogspot and became something akin to a charter member of Munuvia. YAY!

As I recall it all began just because I was trying to add Comments to my Blogspot blog. For some reason Susie noticed my struggle -- I believe it was through our postings at FrankJ's -- and offered some guidence.

When I ran into some problems with the provided solution she finally directed me to Pixy Misa.

I contacted our fearless leader and explained my predicament and he offered, on Susie's recommendation, to put me on his own server -- some weird thang called "mu.nu".
Recognizing the ".nu" part from denbeste.nu I was immediately intrigued.

Being stuck on Blogspot with no Comments left me feeling very unfullfilled and eventually I'd lost interest in blogging. The only visitors I was sure of were the friends and family that mentioned that they'd read this or that post.

I hadn't run out of things to say, mind ya, I just felt like I was blogging in a vacuum that sucked and there was about a two-month period when I wrote nothing nada zero zilch.

So, not only could Pixy get me comments, but he could help me to blog a.nu in so many ways! I jumped at the chance! Soon there was Tim and Jennifer and Victor and Ted and Mookie and then LeAnn and Helen and Mr Green and Stevie and Roxette and Daniel and hln. (I'll stop there 'cause that was when I stopped updating the anthem... And, sorry, I'll get to the links later!)

O, how Munuvia has grown in the past year! Early Munuvuians Collins and Cherry have left us, but so many nu cow puppies have joined us. What a great band of bloggers -- and long may we reign!!!

As a tribute I present this testimonial of my thanks to Susie for emailing me one fine day in July of '03 and making me an unwitting pioneer on this wonderful frontier.
She was one of the first non-family/friends to notice that I existed.
(Sorry, Pixy. I would have photoshopped you if I'd only had a photo of ya!
No, really...!)


"Susie on my shoulder makes me happy..."


Posted by Tuning Spork at 10:58 PM | Comments (6)

July 14, 2004

Oookay, where was I...?

Y'ever had Japanese food? I refuse to call it "cuisine". Cuisine is a French word and only the French have cuisine. There's no "Japanese cuisine" or "Italian cuisine", m'kay?

Anywho, some people love it and some people hate it. I'm willing to like it but I haven't had anything Japanese so far that I've liked that didn't end with the word "teriyaki."

There's a Japanese resteraunt called East in the strip-mall where my print shop is located. They must be a football field away from me, but they keep their dumpster about 100 feet from my back door. Why? Because it reeks.
It's full of fish tails and fish guts and roly poly fish heads and on a hot and humid day it'll stink up the entire back parking lot.

The owner of the neighborhood Chinese take-out place asked me "Who owns that dumpster; Hometown Buffet?"
"No, that's Japanese East."
"O-o-o-h, Japane-e-e-ese..."
he said with dirision. (I've always had the sneaking suspicion that every Asian who isn't Japanese hates the Japanese.)

I remember once reading somewhere that the imigrants that came through Ellis Island in the late 19th and early 20th centuries had to be fed in groups based on their nationalities because they wouldn't trust each other's "cuisine." F'rinstance: German imigrants would be confused and disgusted by spaghetti and would refuse to eat it.
I don't remember the name of what I ordered during my first visit to a resteraunt six years ago, but it almost made me feel like I was dining on frickin' Rigel IV.
Okay, it was just some seafood, but it was food from a sea that I'd never eaten out of before. You couldn't identify the pieces as part of any creature -- though some had tentacles so it was some kind of octopus or squid or something. Some pieces were tender and some were kinda rubbery. All of it was weird.

What the heck is miso soup? It's a briny sodium bisque that tastes like Long Island Sound, that's what. Why would anyone sip on a bowl of this crud?!

Okay, it's interesting to look at. It had some kind of... of... of... cloudy particular substance that - when the soup is at rest - kind of looks like a sponge sitting in broth. When you stir it up the "sponge" disolves in the broth and it's just a homogenous murky mess. Then the soup settles and the illusion of the sponge reappears!

The first time I visited the resteraunt was about six years ago and it was the first time I'd ever heard of miso soup. There was a table of a party of 5 or 6 who were placing their orders with the waitress. The waitress had a Japanese accent and I'd heard her trying to figure out the miso soup orders.

"Miso soup for you, but not for you...oh, no, miso soup for you, so...3 miso soup..."

I kept hearing her voice saying "miso soup... miso soup..." over and over and all I could think of was "Me so ho-o-o-rny... Me so ho-o-orny... Twenny dolla love you long time!" It was all I could do not to bust out laughing while the poor girl got the order straight.

Anywho, the food was okay, but hardly worth the price. It's not like a Chinese joint where you can get a big lunch for $4.25. If you want to do lunch at this place you'd better be prepared to shell out fifteen bucks. I'm curious but not curious enough to make Japanese East a regular visit.

And can someone identify for me that green gingermint paste that they keep glopping onto the side of whatever I order? A drop of that on your tongue and you start to wonder if it was invented for American diners in retaliation for Hiroshima. What IS that stuff?!

Posted by Tuning Spork at 09:44 PM | Comments (6)


After myriad roadblocks and twists and turns I think that I'm finally BACK!!!

I don't even want to remember all of the disk failures and dumb-ass oversights that Lawruh and I have made over the past month+. But I'd like to thank Lawruh for her support; and to Jim for his alternate solution which - thankfully - was never needed!

Regular posting shall resume tomorrow! (Tonight -- after all this mess -- I'm just too harried to begin agin just yet...)

WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Tuning Spork at 12:37 AM | Comments (6)

July 07, 2004

Some Days You Just Can't Get Rid Of A Bomb

I finally got my hands on a legitimate Windows 98 set-up disk and it worked! Woo hoo!! But, it didn't fix the problems. D'oh!

So I'm trying to reformat the C:\ drive last night, right? I've got my ten-pack of floppies and instructions on how to do it.
The first thing I tried to do was to create a boot disk. Easy as pie, eh?
I slipped the disk into drive A:\ and clicked on the "create start-up disk" button in the Add/remove programs program.

"A:\ is inaccessible. Device is not ready."

I tried it again and again for an hour or so while playing a few games of Freecell. No change.
Then I restarted the computer with the disk in the drive and it finally recognized the disk! So I did the whole "create start-up disk" thing and it sure looked like it was creating a start-up disk. I watched the little line grow from 5% to 28% to 76% to 100%. Yay!
Then I got a message:

"Cannot write to drive A:\. Files may be lost."

Huh? Nothing copied I assume. But I wouldn't know because I couldn't get the device to be "ready" again. *sigh*

So, now I'm gonna grab the 3.5 floppy drive out of my old computer and see if it works better than the new(er) one. If it doesn't work then the problem isn't with the device but with something somewhere that I have no idea what to do about.
I'll either be back on line soon (over the weekend at the latest), or I wont be back for a long long time.

Wish me luck! And chime in with some advice if you know anything about this stuff! Or better yet just send me a new computer!

Okay, okay. Since all of my posts this past month have been about computer problems I'll entertain you with a joke.

The doctor walks into the room and tells the patient "I have two bits of bad news for you, Mr Smith."
"Just give it to me straight, Doc" he says.

"The first news is that you have cancer," says the Doctor.
"Ooh, cancer..." Mr Smith says woriedly. "That's awful. What's the other bad news?"

"The other bad news is that you have Altzheimer's"

"Oh, man. Altzheimer's," he says shaking his head is dismay. "That's really really awful. Oh well," he shrugged, "at least I don't have cancer."


Posted by Tuning Spork at 01:10 PM | Comments (2)
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