February 18, 2007

OPEN MEMO TO BRITNEY SPEARS

Hi, Britney. You don't know me and I don't know you, but... uh... wussup up, grrl?

I'm someone who's never given a rat's patootie about you or your music. I don't listen to your kind of "music". I don't like what's become of "popular music" in the past two decades -- the skankiness that is Madonna's true legacy and that seems to have defined your understanding of what music is supposed to be: slutty, vacuous, dance-track videos. But, please, just lemme talk out of turn for a sec.

Clearly you are not happy with your life or with who are are. You shaved off your luscious glory in order to kill the person that you've found yourself to be right now.

Surprised, Brit? Surprised that that didn't transform you into a new and fresher person but, rather, made you see, in that mirror of yers, that what you've done was not a self-transformation but merely self-destruction?

Y'see, in order to change, you need to have a goal. A goal other than destroying your present self. You need to become the grrl you want to be, not merely destroy the person you are.


Excelsior,

Me

P.S. And wear some clean underwear. You never know when you might be in a trainwreck.


P.P.S. Couldn't let this post go by without a YouTube video. ;)


Posted by Tuning Spork at February 18, 2007 11:48 PM | TrackBack
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They never should have let her watch G.I. Jane.

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