March 17, 2005

Super Silly Crossword Puzzle Contest!

I sometimes make up crossword puzzles during my commutes to and from work. I never send them to anyone, though, so I'm sending this to you!

First one to send me the complete solution WINS!!!

What's the prize? Uh... I dunno yet. Maybe one of my old driver's licenses. Maybe a sense of satisfaction. We'll see!


1) Draw a 9 x 9 grid.
2) Fill in the squares as follows:

row 1: 3 open, 3 black, 3 open
row 2: 3 open, 2 black, 4 open
row 3: 4 open, 1 black, 4 open
row 4: 1 black, 6 open, 2 black
row 5: 3 black, 3 open, 3 black
tow 6: 2 black, 6 open, 1 black
row 7: 4 open. 1 black, 4 open
row 8: 4 open, 2 black, 3 open
row 9: 3 open, 3 black, 3 open

3) Number the open squares appropriately
4) Do the puzzle!

(UPDATE: Thanks to Stephen Macklin we now have a grid!)


These are all common words. Many are common to crossword puzzles but I've attempted to make it a challenge which, believe you me, was a challenge. Good luck!


1. Physical comity
4. "The Vatican ____"
7. Latin early bird
8. Pie-like
9. Especially
11. Letter from Lagos, often
12. Land
14. One PBS patron
15. Revue bit, maybe
18. Await the green light
20. Jovial grace
22. Complimentary
23. Wrath
24. Floyd's Barrett
25. Reach 2nd base

1. A mo.
2. Finished
3. Truth alternative
4. Rather ribald
5. Secretary Hutchison
6. Class where you dress down
8. Type of tax or sale
10. Met counterpart
13. Jack's killer
15. Rosebud
16. Film taste
17. Fabled loser
18. Buts and ands cohort
19. Finish the dishes
21. Fish, for one

Lots of these are gimme's, so get crackin'!

Posted by Tuning Spork at March 17, 2005 11:35 PM

I believe I've got all except square 3 and the lower right-hand square. Frustrating, but I don't do crosswords very often. I didn't understand some of your clues until I'd gotten the word.

Posted by: wheels at March 18, 2005 06:33 PM


Congrats, if you've solved it. Yeah, I wanted a few ah HA! moments! ;)

As for square 3: Does a D do the trick?

Posted by: Tuning Spork at March 18, 2005 10:51 PM

That's great, StMack! How'd you do that?

Posted by: Tuning Spork at March 19, 2005 02:19 PM

It makes 1 Across a recognizable word, and 3 Down (according to as well, but neither seem to fit the clues (3 Down becomes a type of wall-eyed perch).

Then again, I was hoping to solve them without having to know what the clues meant. I figured that getting the other clues would make it obvious, but it hasn't.

By the way, I just noticed the songs off to the right. I'm downloading "Don't Pet the Dog." If it's the song I'm thinking of, it's one I sing (and one of the only ones I can sing while accompanying myself on the banjo).

Posted by: wheels at March 22, 2005 09:08 AM

Hmmm, wheels. tell me what you have in that upper-right corner and maybe I can give you a clue. Definateply sounds like you;ve a wrong word somewhere else.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at March 24, 2005 11:12 PM

Well, it's been about a week now with no further comments, so I don't feel too bad about posting my incomplete solution for a "here's where you messed up" critique:

N O ? - - - R A G
O V O - - E A S Y
V E R Y - S C A M
- R E A L T Y - -
- - - N E A - - -
- - S K E T C H -
I D L E - E L A N
F R E E - - I R E
S Y D - - - P E T

I'm not fully sure of the 'T' in the lower right-hand corner, but it seems to work. The '?' in the upper left section is the only one I don't know and haven't been able to guess at, so that's likely where I have something wrong.

Ack! I've just previewed this, and it's a non-proportional font in the comment window, but a proportional font when the comment is posted. Hope it's not too messy.

Posted by: wheels at March 31, 2005 05:29 PM

By the way, the "Don't Pet the Dog" I'm familiar with is different. I've got it on a recording by this guy:

Unfortunately, it's not one of the ones he has MP3s of on his site. The song is in waltz time, and is humorous. The chorus is:

Don't pet the dog.
Don't pet him, whatever you do.
'Cause he ain't been fixed,
And he knows some tricks
That'll sure make a fool out of you.
Don't pet the dog,
He gets it confused with romance.
Just leave him alone,
Or the next thing you know,
He'll be askin' your ankle to dance.

Posted by: wheels at March 31, 2005 05:34 PM

wheels, 7 across is a feminine noun, there's yer mistake. Emasculate that egg and see what happens!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at April 1, 2005 09:04 PM

Ah, yes. So it does. Thanks.

Posted by: wheels at April 11, 2005 03:23 PM
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