BLATHER REVIEW

The Near-misses Just Keep A-Comin'

I'm thinking of putting up a Death Pool for myself. Whoever guesses the date closest to when I finally get slaughtered by a vehicle being driven by some indigenous alien who's too busy yakking on their cellphone to bother watching where they're going wins. I'll keep the prize a secret until we have a winner.

The mainstream media has their pink panties in a bunch over the "reckless and unacountable" blogosphere getting the story right again. Eason Jordan would rather resign than have his CNN access and release a tape of his "alleged" comments accusing the US military of sniping off journalists. Bloggers didn't call for Jordan's head, only for him to release a tape and get the truth out. Then we'd've call for his head, but not sooner.

I'm sick of the whole Eason Jordan kerfufflenutter. I don't need to see a tape of Davos. Chris Dodd, David Gergen, Barney Frank and that blogger who started the whole thing gave indentical accounts of Jordan's blabbering. He resigned, I hope, embarrassed and ashamed (even if he never admits it out loud).
Jordan and the blogosphere are through with each other as far as I'm concerned. CNN, on the other hand, has a lot of explaining to do about why they stonewalled, rather than investigated, the story. Perhaps Mary Mapes would like to launch a probe in search of missing CNN memos. Her sources could have 'em by 7pm Wednesday.

And what's the deal with these newfangled city buses? I gotta sit sideways and keep my knees elevated like a leg trauma victim. Who designs these things, the Lullaby League? I'm a skinny 5'11'' guy made to feel like Chris Farley in that airliner's bathroom in Tommy Boy. I turn the page of my newspaper too fast and I'm libel to explode out into the aisle.

The Navy wants to christen an "attack submarine" the USS Jimmy Carter? Why? If there's such a thing as poetic injustice the thing'll probably run aground somewhere in the Iranian desert in less than four years while trying to target North Korean nuclear missle launchers.

Oh, and one more thing. Lucid dreaming can be fun. It can also, at times, be a little frightening. Half-lucid dreaming can be downright terrifying. Make it stop!!!!

(I might actually explain that last one if anyone cares.)

Posted by Tuning Spork at February 15, 2005 10:32 PM