August 14, 2004

This wasn't casual Friday

Sorry for the sudden lack of posting the last few days, but I've been busy with several peripheral issues... (ooo, mystery...!)

I've recently ranted about the dying art of our rare, precious and beautiful civil protocol in my post HATS, and a little bit more in Things I miss.
Now I have another question: What makes a man or woman think that it's appropriate to show up to a wake for your friend's father dressed like you're going to a %#$& garlic festival?

My friend, Ellen, just lost her dad. The wake was last evening. Tex, Bugs, and Lisa showed up in casual dress.
At least Bugs wore black -- I'll give him that. But, fercryingoutloud, you don't go to your friend's father's wake in blue jeans and a neutral grey pull-over, 'kay?.

I didn't know Sylvester very well, either. Hell, we haven't laid eyes on each other since way back when Ellen was still living with her parents; some six years ago. We probably wouldn't have recognized each other if we passed on the street last week. But that doesn't matter.

Yeah, I went to a wake casually dressed once. It was the wake of my friend Norm's sister and I, unfortunately, had to work late and knew that I couldn't get home, change, and get to the wake in time. I had an excuse, but I still felt like I should've gone up to every single family member and appologized and explained why I was dressed so casually.

Yesterday I carried a suit to work -- on the bus -- just to be dressed for the wake as Tara was picking me up at 5:30. And I didn't do it for ol' Sylvester (he's dead, he wont care...); I did it for his daughter, my friend, Ellen.

She just lost her father and will never again get to say "Hi, Dad!". He might have been nothing to you, but you will put on a jacket and tie even if for no other reason than to show Ellen that you understand that this is an important time for her.

I'm sure that she would rather have you show up naked than not show up at all. But, pleeeeeze, don't ever think that you're too close to the bereaved, or too distant from the deceased, to dress for the occassion. Ellen deserves better from her closest friends at a time like this.

You know who you are, and I love you. But you guys keep doing this (Tara's mother, Norm's mother...) and it's getting old. So just stop fucking this shit up.

Posted by Tuning Spork at August 14, 2004 08:12 PM

Your mother raised a mensch.

Posted by: Freedom's Slave at August 15, 2004 12:27 PM

I agree with Freedom up there.

Posted by: RP at August 16, 2004 09:23 PM
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