February 04, 2004

fake beer commercial

(If, for some reason, you're not familiar with the Bud Light commercials and aren't sure how to read this post, you can go HERE and listen to some of the greatest commercials ever produced!)

Duff Lite presents real American heroes.

*real American heroes...*

For your untiring determination to find a way to sell three books for a dollar; today we salute you: Mister Pop-up Ad inventor.

*...mister pop-up ad inventor...!*

We salute you for showing us where to go to trace our geneology, and for reminding us all of the high school classmates that it took us decades to finally forget.

the girls: *...who brought the pile of post-its..."

When they said that you can't make a web surfer read a banner ad you had an idea: to upload advertisements by opening up a brand new window.

*...ooo, don't let the flies in...*

Perhaps you're watching us on one of those nifty mini spy cams, how else could you know that we would have taken that trip to Hawaii if the airline tickets had been just a little cheaper.
And how can we salute you without mentioning one very special word: Viagra.

*...things are popping up all over...!*

We watch in awe as the pop-up ads line up on our task bar like little cyber billboards posted along the information super-highway, just waiting to tell us how our comparitively low I.Q.s can match us up with the partner of our dreams.

the girls: *...who's the double-digit doofus...?*

So crack open a Duff Lite because whether we're refinancing a mortgage, shopping for a penile implant or getting a medical diagnosis by filling out a short on-line questionaire, we know that fullfilling our lives to the degree that we now can just wouldn't be possible without the chutzpah you've shown by simply creating a way to bombard us with so many opportunities -- and making us have to take positive action if we wish NOT to be bombarded.

*...ooo, way to grab us all by the short hairs...*

We thank you, Mister Pop-up Ad inventor, for creating an internet experience that makes us long for a trip to the dentist.

*...my teeth are grinning; they tha-a-a-nk you...*

Duff Brewery; Springfield, USA.

Posted by Tuning Spork at February 4, 2004 09:25 PM

Bravo, Senor Spork. Truer words were ne'er sung.

Posted by: rick at February 5, 2004 11:08 AM

ROFL!!!! Great job!

Posted by: Susie at February 5, 2004 11:14 AM


Posted by: Ted at February 5, 2004 12:41 PM

Very Nicely Twisted.

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at February 5, 2004 10:25 PM

You rock for noticing that Stephen. I guess my inner discipine addict came out in the end!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at February 5, 2004 10:35 PM
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