December 09, 2003

King of the Blogs

For some unknown reason I've decided to enter myself in the King Of The Blogs competition.
I don't think I have any chance of advancing for several reasons:

1) My number of posts in any given day is usually one (1).
2) I don't always post on every given day.
3) I don't care if I win or lose, I just want to have fun. Yay for fun!
4) My blog sucks.

But I've accepted the Host's Challenge anywho, and hyar 'tis:

You are marooned on an island with the rest of the contestants in the King of the Blogs tournament. How would you survive amongst the other contestants, and what strategies would you use to do this? Please explain in detail.
I would immediately assume command of the survival effort and assign tasks for each of us.

Romulus and I will build our huts. Pylorns and Anonymous (Vigilance Matters) will scout the island and collect food (muscular mammals prefered). Brian will pray for our deliverance.

If food is, or becomes, scarce then we will eat the vegetarians.
If there are no vegetarians among us then we will eat Brian. He's a Christian family man and probably has taken good care of himself. As there would be four of us and only one of him, slaughtering him should be easy.

After Brian we'll eat Romulus. He seems pretty competitive; so I think I could convince Pylorns and Anonymous that he's too dangerous to allow lasting until the situation becomes desperate. As there would be three of us and only one of him, slaughtering him shouldn't be too difficult.

If the rest of us are still stranded and hungry then we'll just have to target Pylorns next. He's kinda competitive, too, and has a pretty blog. I hate that. Seeing as there'd be two of us and only one of him, slaughtering him might kill one of us but not both of us. As I have no intention of dying, it would be Anonymous, and Pylorns and I could eat him/her. Only, shhh, I wouldn't eat.

I'd wait until Pylorns is well fed and sated on Anonymous and dozes off. That's when I get to begin preparing a nice Pylorns/Anonymous brine stew.

At this point I'd begin praying to be rescued. I just hope it doesn't happen during dinner.

Posted by Tuning Spork at December 9, 2003 08:29 PM

Outstanding judges challenge my man!

Now, learn how to count!!1

Posted by: The Bartender at December 10, 2003 04:27 AM

I prefer the term visually aesthetic blog.

Posted by: pylorns at December 10, 2003 01:00 PM

Anonymous is being played by Marty McKeever, aka TAFKAP - The Artist Formerly Known As Phrantic. This is his ninth year in the Online Theatre.

(PS: the consensus is that you were a bit salty, similar to goat meat. Nyama!)

Posted by: Vigilance Matters at December 10, 2003 01:30 PM

I not only voted for you, but added your site to my blogroll. BTW, who did Vigilance Matters and WetWired bribe to receive more votes than you??

Posted by: Bloodthirsty Warmonger at December 10, 2003 09:51 PM
Post a comment

Remember personal info?

Site Meter