April 01, 2006


I went bird hunting up in Easton this morning. There aren't too many game birds around here, but if you're lucky you can spot a wild turkey now and then. I had plenty of chances to bag a deer, but a) I don't really care for venison, b) I was alone and getting the thing into my hatchback would be difficult and c) I only had birdshot, not buckshot.

So, after about an hour and a half of moving stealthyly through the woods I looked up saw it. A spotted owl. It was perched and sleeping about 50 feet above the ground. One shot and it came falling straight down.

I got home around noon, fired up the grill and began to clean the bird. My housemate, Chris, asked me what the hell I was cooking and I told him.

"Dude, killing a spotted owl is illegal," he said. "It's an endangered bird!"

"I know," I shrugged. "But, I'm hungry and this was all I could find this morning."

Well, Chris is one of these animal rights wackos and he called the cops. The officer came into the backyard just as I was finishing the grilled owl -- which I flavored up with with a nice herb rub. After a few minutes of checking the police records via radio, and then giving me what for about shooting endangered species, the officer said "Well, since you've had no past run-in with the law, I'm gonna let you off with a warning...this time."

I thanked him and, just as he was leaving, he turned back to me and said "Oh, sir. Just out of curiosity, what does spotted owl taste like?"

I thought for a moment and said "Well, it tastes a lot like bald eagle."

My arraignment is set for 9 am Tuesday.

Posted by Tuning Spork at April 1, 2006 04:46 PM | TrackBack

Yeah, right. A shaggy owl story, what next?

Posted by: Edith at April 1, 2006 09:57 PM

You had me going there for awhile!

I was all prepared to high five you for taking down a turkey. Their evasive maneuvering skills are legendary and it's said the US Air Force studied them.

Posted by: Debbye at April 2, 2006 12:14 PM

What a hassle. A few miles out of Seattle there's a little bar (whos owner and patrons have no use for "tree huggers") that serves "spotted owl burgers". They're great, but get 2, they're small.

Posted by: Dave at April 2, 2006 02:43 PM

LOL, Dave. I'll have to suggest that dish to a restauranteur buddy!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at April 3, 2006 06:08 PM
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