March 24, 2006

Franz Kafka Is Writing My Life

So anyway, I left the house on Wednesday at "1:30pm" to catch the 1:45 (give or take a few) Park Avenue bus downtown to catch the #12 bus that passes by the Department of Motor Vehicles. The bus ran "a few minutes late" and got downtown at 2:36. Huh? Oh, yeah: My watch is now running 25 minutes slow. Okay, the thing is old, but it's digital. Aren't these things supposed to just fade away, not slow down?

Anyway, I had no idea what the #12 schedule was, so I checked the bulletin board. A bus just left at 2:30 and the next one doesn't leave 'til 3:10. I grabbed a quick bite at McDonald's (yecch!) and caught the 3:10 at 3:20.

I arrived at the DMV at about 3:45 and grabbed the two forms I'd need to fill out -- one of which my cousin has to sign. I hopped on the return trip of the #12, made the connection downtown to the Coastal Link and headed out to the other side of town where my cousin works. That's the Black Rock section of town, for those in-the-know.

My cousin signed the Bill of Sale but, since the DMV closes at 4:30 on Wednesdays, it was hopeless to try and get back there in time even though I could've prolly made it to the insurance place in time. (The insurance place is only a five minute walk from the DMV.) So I grabbed a pizza and went home.

On Thursday (yesterday) I left the house at 12:30 (real time, not by my watch, btw) and headed downtown to catch the 1:10 #12. But the bus was late and we got into the terminal just as the #12 was pulling out. The next one was scheduled to leave at 2:30, so I grabbed some lunch at McDonald's (yecch!) and worked on the crossword puzzle in the local anarchist rag The Fairfield Advocate County Weekly. No biggie, really. The DMV is open 'til 7:00pm on Thursdays. Plenty of time. Ple-e-e-e-nty of time...

I arrived at the insurance place with Bill of Sale in hand at about 2:45. After much confusion over what I was quoted on Monday, we finally got the policy up and running. The only other hitch was that I had gotten the policy for an '85 Chevy but the VIN came back saying it was an '84. Whatever. Off to the DMV I went to register the car.

I walked up to the service desk and said "I need a number so's I can register a vehicle." She said, "I need to see your paperwork." I showed her the Bill of Sale and the Registration Form and she said "Where's the Title?" I said "I don't need a Title." She said "Why don't you need a Title?" I said "Because the car is 22 years old." She said "You need a Title for all cars '81 and newer." I said "....." She said "Take a form from bin 15 and have the seller fill it out and sign it. It'll be $25 to create a new Title." I said "But we called ahead and were assured that we only needed a Bill of Sale." She said "Well, I don't know who you talked to, but all cars '81 and up need a Title." I said "......" She said "Have a nice day. Next!"

So I grabbed the form and hopped the #12 bus back to the terminal to connect to the Coastal Link to get back to Black Rock to have my cousin sign the "New Title Form". Did I mention that each of these connections comes with a complimentary 30-minute standing around time? I arrived at my cousins place of employment at about 4:15. I wanted him to quickly sign the "New Title Form" so's I could get right back outside and catch the next bus back downtown and catch the 5:10 #12 'cuz if I didn't catch the 5:10 I'd have to wait for the 6:30 and the DMV closes at 7:00. All would lost and I'd have to complete the mission on Friday (today). He signed it and I left and caught the next bus after only about a 10 minutes wait. (The Coastal Link runs every 20 minutes during morning and afternoon rush hours.)

I got back downtown at about 4:50, so I had a good 20 minutes of girl-watching time. One young guy walked up to me and said "Dude, do you wanna get drunk with me?" "What's that?" "I need someone to get drunk with. My girlfriend kicked me out of the apartment. All my clothes are there. I can't even get a picture off the wall..." He told me a little more of his story with a mix of frustration and humor. Oh, I'd love to join ya, man, but I still a long way to go yet today."

I got on the #12 and arrived at the DMV at about 5:25. I got in line and took a number. My number was D-728. They were currently up to D-671. After 45 minutes they were all the way up to D-683. 12 numbers called in 45 minutes and only 45 numbers in 45 minutes to go before it was my turn. I left. I figured I'd just head on back this morning and finally get it done.

But, as I rode back downtown I looked over my paperwork just to have something to read. Then I saw it. Neither I nor my cousin noticed it earlier. Just below his signature, and right above the "Department Use Only" section, was a space for the signature of a Notary Public. My cousin needs to sign this in the presence of a Notary. This form is no @#$% good.

So, the plan for Friday would have to be: Catch the Park Avenue bus downtown, connect to the #12 and go back to the DMV, grab a fresh "New Title Form", catch the #12 back downtown, connect to the Coastal Link and get across town to Black Rock, meet my cousin on his lunch break at some place with a Notary Public on hand, get it signed and stamped, buy him lunch, catch the Coastal Link back downtown, connect to the #12 and get to the DMV in time to get a number that might actually be called before they close at 4:30. Yeah, right. And I might as well drop off some dry cleaning and learn semaphore while I'm at it.

So, I wasted some time trying to actually find a Notary Public. Shouldn't banks be required to have one on hand? I think so. Oh, by the way: If you want to speak to a live person, don't call Bank of America. Ever.

Not having found a Notary, I phoned my cousin an hour-and-a-half ago just to inform him that the form he signed yesterday was no good because we need it Notarized. He said that his mother does that. He's a-gonna get in touch with her and get back to me soonly. I hope. As I write, the DMV closes in an hour, so today is a bust. But, if I give the form to my cousin tomorrow and my aunt can stamp it on Sunday, I can head out to Black Rock Tuesday morning (DMV is closed on Mondays) and get to the DMV and be on the road Tuesday afternoon -- only eight days after I started this project.

Oh, yeah. Piece o' cake. Easy as pie.

Shoot me.

UPDATE: My aunt will be stopping by on Sunday afternoon to stamp the form so I should be on the road on Tuesday afternoon. Yay! Now I'm gonna go catch the bus to the supermarket and get some grub. I think Im in a lasagna mood today. Yum.

UPDATE 2: My aunt will NOT be stopping by this afternoon 'cause, apparantly, my uncle is riding her ass about doing some house cleaning or something. But she works in town and I can stop by and have her stamp the form tomorrow afternoon and get to the DMV, as planned, on Tuesday. Oy.

Posted by Tuning Spork at March 24, 2006 03:50 PM | TrackBack

Ain't government grand

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at March 25, 2006 12:40 PM

Yep. And I just realized that the DMV wil prolly create a new Title in my cousin's name that I'll then need to carry back across town to have him sign over to me and then go backarack again to DMV to finally get this done. Then they'll prolly charge me a late fee for having dragged this out so long.

This is one one o'them times when my brain says "just think it through", my heart says "feel yer way through it" and my stomach says "oh, just hurl already!".

Posted by: Tuning Spork at March 25, 2006 08:14 PM
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