August 30, 2005

Okay, I'm back

So, anyway, I was at my cousin's wedding reception on Saturday in gorgeous resort town of Narragansett, Rhode Island. I caught the garter, nyeh nyeh n'nyeh nyeh!

The bride held the bouguet standing with her back to the gathered maids, gave a few fake-out heaves, turned and pitch a fastball to the gal in front.

I walked up to this rather young looking gal, who looked to me to be about 14 or 15, and said "Hi, I'm Bob."
"I'm Cindy."
"Um... How old are you?"

I turned toward the crowd in search of the bride and shook my head no.

"You can put it on her wrist, y'know," came a disembodied voice from the right. I turned to the DJ, who was MC'ing the garter/bouquet rite, and he nodded to me, "Yeah, you can just put it on her wrist, man."

"Come o-o-o-on," I protested. "I'm not putting a garter anywhere on a twelve-year-old girl. We gotta have a long-legged lady sitting in that chair."

"Okay, we've got a stand-in for ya," someone said as a very lovely stranger took the hot seat. "Just don't go too high," she said with a wink. "My military boyfriend is standing right over there." Conditions, conditions, conditions.

Anywho, I slipped the garter up past her knee and resisted the temptation to keep going until she screamed. I stopped at what was mid-way between her knee and her exposed thigh. I shoulda gone about 3/4 of the way up. Oh, well.

I never did get that garter back.

Posted by Tuning Spork at August 30, 2005 09:33 PM | TrackBack

Did you put it on her using your teeth?

Posted by: RP at September 2, 2005 02:03 PM

Mr. Spork

I thought you would like to see a namesake of yours on the coastal cleanup posters this year:

(Second poster down I think.)

Long lost relative?

Posted by: Edith at September 2, 2005 07:19 PM

Nah, I used my tongue.

Thanks! I always wondered what animal sporks come from.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at September 2, 2005 08:01 PM
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