December 02, 2004

In A World Without 'B's

Welp, my hiatus is officially over. Unfortuanately, I got home from work at a quarter to 9. So, I read a little, made dinner (yummy), and tried to build a post on an idea that's been rackin' 'round my brain today.

I've been trying to turn this into a poem with, like, rhyme and meter and everything. But it ain't workin'. So I'll just post this as it is, more or less, in my notes right this now:

In A World Without Bs

In a world without Bs, if I may be so old, girlfriends would raid each others' hair, you would eat your eggs afore ya fried 'em, and kids would construct castles out of locks.

In a world without Bs, an eagle would be a kind of dog, and he would merely arf in the hallway after a disagreeable dish of Cycle.

In this world you would carry your lushing ride over the threshhold. And cheating on her would be a reach of faith.

The locals would line the pier fishing for freshwater ass as the flowers loom in the shadows. Some people would be itchy, but, luckily, that'd be only their concern.
Your employer would hand you a Christmas onus -- perhaps a pint of ooze -- and the roach on your wife's louse would be latantly obvious.

In a world without Bs others might rag on and on about their rats but that wouldn't compare to driving the car over the ridge. Or, to the doctor sending you the ill.

On the right side, cripples would have full-length races! And, this winter, at worst, you might get caught in a lizzard. (That doesn't even make sense nevermind.)

Of course, in a world without Bs, a logger could just go ahead and post silly entries at Lather Review without so much as linking.

Oy, oh, oy. Sorry, I'll stop now... :)

Posted by Tuning Spork at December 2, 2004 11:44 PM


Posted by: Ted at December 3, 2004 10:51 AM
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