September 08, 2004

Some Straight Talk from Terry McAuliffe

Wallace: ...and welcome to FoxNews Sunday. I'm Chris Wallace.
My first guest this morning is the chairman of the Democratic National Committee, Terry McAuliffe. Welcome, Mister McAuliffe.

McAuliffe: Thank you, Chris. Good to be with you.

Wallace: Your candidate, Senator John Kerry, has been slipping in the polls as President Bush has been rising. Is this a sign that the American people are becoming more and more convinced that the President has the stronger message; or, that the Swiftboat ads have hurt Kerry?

McAuliffe: Well, the only poll that counts is the one taken on November 2nd. But, let me just say that John Kerry is a decorated war hero while George W Bush is a draft-dodger. I'm not being negative here or anything, I'm just sayin' is all...

Wallace: Uh... Well, polls show that the anti-Kerry Swiftboat ads have taken a toll on the Senator's favorability numbers. How can Senator Kerry best overcome the blow to his credibility?

McAuliffe: The real question is "How can President Bush explain his military desertion when he went AWOL from the Texas Alabama National Guards?". That's the real question here; not what Senator Kerry did or didn't do 35 years ago.

Wallace: Er... Okay. But, President Bush's National Guard service was also 35...

McAuliffe: Is that a flag?

Wallace: Excuse me...?

McAuliffe: That pin. Is that a flag pin on your lapel?

Wallace: Why, yes, it is.

McAuliffe: So, you're a Republican then?

Wallace: Well, I don't see why you'd think that just because...

McAuliffe: Come on, Chris, only you right-wingers wear those flag pins! Admit it!

Wallace: Are you saying that Democrats aren't patriotic enough to...

McAuliffe: Hey, now. The Stars and Stripes are not in the exclusive purview of the right wing. Don't try to tell us we don't love wearing a flag pin as much and as proudly as you do.

Wallace: But, I thought that your point was...

McAuliffe: The question at hand is "Why do the polls show that the American people believe that John Kerry would be better for America on the economy, on healthcare, on education...?". These poll numbers reflect the truth and are vitally important, Chris.

Wallace: But, it's not November 2nd yet. And the overall poll numbers show Bush in the lead. Does this mean that President Bush has an advantage as we move into October and November?

McAullife: It's just too early to tell.

Wallace: Does Senator Kerry have an advantage as we move into October and November?

McAuliffe: Of course he does and here's why: While Dick Cheney was busy getting draft deferments whoa...!

Wallace: Is there a problem? You look a little dizzy...

McAuliffe: Is the room spinning, or is it just me?

Wallace: It's you, but do go on.

McAuliffe: Anyway, while Dick Cheney was busy getting draft deferments, John Kerry volunteered to go to Vietnam to serve his country.

Wallace: Well, actually, Senator Kerry applied for the same deferments and was turned down...

McAuliffe: And he joined the military and volunteered for duty in Vietnam.

Wallace: But, no. He joined the Naval Reserves, and was subsequently called to active duty...

McAuliffe: Whereupon he begged to go to Vietnam so he could defend the children of America from Richard Nixon's war in Vietnam.

Wallace: Actually, Lyndon Johnson was President when Kerry was shipped to Vietnam and then given a choice of two differant kinds of patrol boats to join. He opted for a Swiftboat which patrolled less dangerous waters than...

McAuliffe: And he served with great valor. John Kerry is a hero because he, unlike the Chimp-in-Chief, heroically threw himself onto the frontline of the battle for a stalemate in Vietnam, and would gladly devote himself to that cause again.

Wallace: But, he only served 4 1/2 months of a 12-month tour, requesting a return Stateside after...

McAuliffe: After suffering three wounds in battle that taught him that war is not something you get into just because you think that your country has the best answer.

Wallace: Well, he never lost a day of duty for those wounds and there's an official Naval investigation into the sources of at least two of his Purple Hearts. He invoked the three-Purple-Hearts-and-you-can-leave policy while in 100% perfect health.

McAuliffe: Chris, being healthy isn't a crime. I mean, how silly are these partisan attacks from the right gonna get?!

Wallace: You said "just because you think that your country has the best answer". Are you saying that the United States may not have had the best answer when it endeavored to stop the spread of communism into South Vietnam?

McAuliffe: Yes. Look, we can't go fighting tyrannical governments just because we don't like them; the world is a diverse place. Freedom is important to Americans, but, by the same token, tyranny is important to tyrants. We can't just arrogantly presume to go around imposing Liberty on people. That's the lesson of Vietnam -- a war, by the way, that John F Kennedy never would have gotten us into. Richard Nixon was wrong to just go anywhere in the world, to bear any burden, support any friend and oppose any foe, to...

Wallace: Uh... Mister McAuliffe...

McAuliffe: Look, we can't go tarnishing a war hero's record by focusing on minutia. The question, at the end of the day, is where was George W Bush while John Kerry was trying to get a deferment, signing up for inactive service, trying to stay out of harm's way, and finally getting his ass out of Vietnam as fast he possibly could? What in the world was George W Bush doing at the time? Huh, Chris? What was Bush doing?!

Wallace: I'm asking the questions, Terry.

McAuliffe: Well, I just gotta say that there are a lot of unanswered questions here.

Wallace: No shit, Sherlock.

And, stay tuned, folks. After the break we'll be talking to a 26-year-old man who claims he is the reincarnation of John Wayne. And he's pissed...

McAuliffe: Yikes. Gotta run, bye!

Posted by Tuning Spork at September 8, 2004 10:10 PM

Oooohhh! For a while I almost thought this was the transcript of a real interview with McAuliffe. I smell red herring. Why doesn't John Kerry develop consistent positions on issues other than his service in Vietnam? Is it because he honestly doesn't know what to do if he were elected President?

Posted by: Bloodthirsty Warmonger at September 9, 2004 12:13 PM

That was beautiful. Seriously. And a thing of beauty is a joy forever (or, at least until Nov. 2)!

Posted by: RP at September 9, 2004 12:13 PM

BW, yeah it does almost read like a real McAuliffe interview. I don't know if it's funny or scary that he really talks like that!

Thanks, RP! But, making fun of Terry McAuliffe blathering his way through an interview is like fishing in a barrel. :)

Posted by: Tuning Spork at September 9, 2004 08:26 PM
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