BLATHER REVIEW

Lunch With Stephen

So, anyway, I walked into GUSTO: the Fine Art of Italian Living at about 11:50am for my scheduled noon luncheon with Stephen Macklin of Hold The Mayo. Having suddenly realized that Stephen and I hadn't prepared a way to recognize each otherI said to the hat check girl (is the term "hat check girl" still allowed these days? I mean, since they don't actually check yer hat anymore but simply walk you to a table?):
"I'm meeting someone I've never met before and his name is Stephen Macklin. So, if some guy comes in alone ask him if he's 'looking for Tuning Spork' and if he says 'Yes' then lead him to wherever I'm sitting."

"Uh," she smiled nervously, "Okay..."

My worst nightmare was that he'd be some high-strung, high maintenance personality that would have me on edge just trying to keep pace with his barrage of ideological incessentness. But, as it turned out, he was exactly what I expected -- a very intelligent, down to earth and welcoming fella. Almost immediately we were just two easygoing guys having lunch and asking each other a slew of challenging questions.

OH! That reminds me: the trivia questions!

Ted asked 7 questions; Stephen correctly answered 5 of 'em.
He knew that Nathaniel Herreschoff had designed 5 winning boats;
that the USA, Australia, New Zealand had successfully defended the America's Cup -- though England and Switzerland had yet to. (What's the deal with land-locked Switzerland and yachting? Isn't that on an odd par with the Jamiacan Bobsled Team?);
that the Orcs originated from the Elves;
that white was the color of the handprint on the faces of the Uruk-hai;
that saffron is the most expensive spice.

He did NOT know that vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice, or that Saruman and Gollum had never met.

LeeAnn stumped Stephen on all 4 of her questions. 0 for 4! (LeeAnn, you're a tough room!)
He did NOT know that fortune cookies were invented in San Francisco in 1916;
that it takes 10 days to make a jellybean;
that the first America's Cup challenge was held in 1851, or;
that Gary Cooper played the male lead in the motion picture adaption of Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead.

Annika asked 10 questions of Stephen (but only 5 of me... she apparantly missed the rule about submitting an equal number of questions to each of us, but, that's okay: she'll always be cool 'cause we love 'er!).
Stephen scored 5 of 10.
He knew that pressing ctrl + eject will present a SHUT DOWN button;
that UNIX was a system that Mac OS X was based on;
that Gandalf said "Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give that to them?";
that "Dominique Francon" was the name of Roark's love interest in The Fountainhead", and;
that Ellsworth Toohey was the architectural critic for The Banner.

He did NOT recall that Jim Rome's nickname for Dennis Connor is Leatherface;
that the asymetric spinnaker used in light breexes while sailing downwind (and first used in the America's Cup in 1983 on the Australia II) is called a "gennaker";
that "Such is oft the course of deeds that move the wheels of the world. Small hands do them because they must, while the eyes of the great are elsewhere" was spoken by Elrond;
that two synonyms (in English parlance-Ed.)> for "chick peas" are Garbanzo beans and Ceci beans, or;
that Fugu (or: Blowfish) is the fish that they eat in Japan that contains a deadly poison and may only be prepared by a cook with a special license.

Jennifer sent 5 questions and Stephen got 2 1/2 of 'em. Huh? Yeah....! (We can do that.)
He knew that the hatch under the bow is called the Sewer;
that Auld Mug is the nickname of the America's Cup;
and that cows are half of the answer to "What animals have been used in the production of mozzerella?"
He did NOT know that Water Buffalo milk was originally used for mozzerella;
that the pizzaria came to the U.S. via Frank Pepe in 1925 (and, 'round h'yar, we still call it "apizza" [pronounced: ah-'beets), or;
that Speed & Smarts is the name of David Dellenbaugh's racing newsletter even though Stephen was a subscriber several years back. Yikes! I call for leniency on the grounds of shock-induced brain-lock.. If y'can't remember what y'paid for then yer prob'ly thinkin' too hard!

Susie asked 1 question: How many dwarves left Bag-End with Gandalf and Bilbo Baggins on the journey to fight Smaug?"
Stephen guesstimated 7. But, according to Susie, it was 13.

Victor and Christopher asked questions that, mainly, did not have any supplied answers. I'm going to address them in a seperate post at some point over the weekend (yeah, right!). Hey, it's late and I'm tired!

Mucho Gratuities to all of yous who took the time to supply Stephen and I with a starting point to a meeting between two strangers who didn't know if they had anything in common other than being fellow Munuvians. If you're all as open and welcoming as Stephen then we seriously need to get together for the First Annual Munuvian Luau From Hell!!!

Posted by Tuning Spork at March 5, 2004 11:14 PM